Random Wednesdayness

[emmagrant01]

1. Not buying a permanent account. Nope.

2. sa_lulz is KILLING me, I swear!!

3. My new favorite catchphrase: "YOU ARE PROJECTING YOUR INTELLECTUALISM ONTO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT." *snerk*

4. There was a great conversation about fandom burnout in the last episode of slashcast between charlotteschaos, gmth, and themostepotente, and one of the points they brought up was that they thought the proliferation of fic fests, challenges and exchanges in the last couple of years was a big contributing factor. And you know, that made SO much sense to me.

In the last year, every fic I've written has been for a challenge, exchange, or fest. Every single one. It's been a year since I've written something without a deadline, without having to worry about it meeting the standards of the person modding the fest, or without worrying that it wasn't going to measure up to someone else's expectations. It's been a whole year since I've written something just for me. o_0

And you know, I think that's almost entirely responsible for my fandom burnout in the last year. Writing has become a chore, something that feels an awful lot like work. I get an assignment with a deadline, and I spend weeks completely baffled about what I'm going to do, have to force myself to sit down and work on it, and end up pulling the equivalent of an all-nighter to get it done. The fics I've written in the last year have been okay, but I thought most of them could have been a lot better. And while it's true that there are some fics I would never have written otherwise (like Draco Malfoy is a Stupid Wanker), there haven't been any fics that I wrote because I was obsessive about a story and thought about it nonstop, for which the act of writing them down was actually pleasurable. I miss that.

I'm working on a fic now that's so ridiculously overdue for its fest that I've stopped worrying about the deadline. I'm taking my time with it, and I'm having more fun writing it than I can remember having in a long time. I think I'm going to lay off the fests for a while.

Comments

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I can see that, absolutely. But in my case, I think my writing output has become more about quantity than quality in the last year, and I really regret that. It's my own fault, of course -- I'm the one who signed up for way too many things and then got all stressed out about completing them. So I need to not sign up for anything for a while and see if that old motivation is still there. :-P