Random Wednesdayness

[emmagrant01]

1. Not buying a permanent account. Nope.

2. sa_lulz is KILLING me, I swear!!

3. My new favorite catchphrase: "YOU ARE PROJECTING YOUR INTELLECTUALISM ONTO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT." *snerk*

4. There was a great conversation about fandom burnout in the last episode of slashcast between charlotteschaos, gmth, and themostepotente, and one of the points they brought up was that they thought the proliferation of fic fests, challenges and exchanges in the last couple of years was a big contributing factor. And you know, that made SO much sense to me.

In the last year, every fic I've written has been for a challenge, exchange, or fest. Every single one. It's been a year since I've written something without a deadline, without having to worry about it meeting the standards of the person modding the fest, or without worrying that it wasn't going to measure up to someone else's expectations. It's been a whole year since I've written something just for me. o_0

And you know, I think that's almost entirely responsible for my fandom burnout in the last year. Writing has become a chore, something that feels an awful lot like work. I get an assignment with a deadline, and I spend weeks completely baffled about what I'm going to do, have to force myself to sit down and work on it, and end up pulling the equivalent of an all-nighter to get it done. The fics I've written in the last year have been okay, but I thought most of them could have been a lot better. And while it's true that there are some fics I would never have written otherwise (like Draco Malfoy is a Stupid Wanker), there haven't been any fics that I wrote because I was obsessive about a story and thought about it nonstop, for which the act of writing them down was actually pleasurable. I miss that.

I'm working on a fic now that's so ridiculously overdue for its fest that I've stopped worrying about the deadline. I'm taking my time with it, and I'm having more fun writing it than I can remember having in a long time. I think I'm going to lay off the fests for a while.

Comments

[sagcat.livejournal.com]

Brav-freaking-O to you. And I'm glad you've come to this realization. For yourself, and for the love of the art.

[kerryblaze.livejournal.com]

I stopped with the exchanges/fests/etc. One, I only write Harry/Ron. I only want to write Harry/Ron. Sure other pairings are fun and I wished that I had the time to explore them, but I don't. So with what little time that I have, I want to write them.

And...

I just don't work well up against deadlines. I force it. And it reads like it's forced.

[mizbean.livejournal.com]

I agree with you in part about the fic fests. I agonized over both my smutmas and my springsmut fics, wrote multiple drafts, drove my spouse crazy, and ended up not being happy with what I submitted. OTOH, I turned in two pinch hits this year, had a relatively stress-free experience writing them, and was privately happy with what I produced. I think without the added pressure to trying impress people (the giftee, fandom, whomever) allowed me to relax, have fun and just write. I may just do pinch hits from now on, although I did sign up for reversathon, which I'm trying very hard not to stress about right now.

I've also noticed that the fics being turned into these fic exchanges are getting longer and longer, and it's very hard to keep up with them, especially when 2 or 3 are posted a day. It can be very overwhelming if you want to keep with it all. (Me, who has a list set aside of all the current hd_holiday I still haven't had a chance to read yet.) And then you have half your flist disappearing to finish their overdue holidays fics, you wonder why some people aren't having fun anymore.

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

I think y'all have a point. I've had one exchange after another since Christmas, and I'm completely not interested in the fandom for which I'm writing right now. It just feels forced; I'm not reading and I'm not writing or chatting. Hopefully a break, and then the release of Deathly Hallows and then the quiet (followed by a huge explosion of new ideas) will get everyone who's feeling burnout back on track.

[krissielee.livejournal.com]

See, my fandom burnout is a different case.

I found a new fandom. And that fandom is rotting my brain. And like, I want to work on TS, but then I get tempted away with some nice Clex RP, or a fluffy fic idea, and there goes my HP ideas right out the window. *sigh*

Eventually I'll get done with TS--I just want one more chapter. That's it. One more, and I'll feel better. It won't be done, but I won't feel as bad as waiting 5 months for the words to come.

[stormwynd.livejournal.com]

Back in 2005, I waffled for about 12 hours and then ponied up for a permanent account. The way I figured it, the break-even point was 6 years, andI figured I was going to likely stick around LJ for at least that long.

I'm with you re: the whole fic exchange thing. However, I've also found that keeping myself signed up for one fest during the school year is a great way to force myself to keep writing -- otherwise, I tend to let school-related things totally swallow up all my time.

who is that guy?

[calmnla.livejournal.com]

I have to go back to comment on the loud guy with more decibels than brains. OMG I avoid people like that but I forced myself to listen so I don't forget people like that exist. Sometimes I wish I had a degree in psychology so I could distance myself and place him in categories for understanding what happened to him to warp him like that. But I don't. I lost track of how many times he used his tagline about "projecting intellectualism" which I have to think somebody must have once told him just before he was laughed at by a roomful of people, such a humiliating experience it stayed with him and he now - ahem - projects his flaw onto people who have no idea what he is talking about. Maybe I do deserve that degree. The freaky thing is, I can't figure out what he is - what his stance is. Mostly he seems to enjoy telling women what's what. Ick.

[incunabulist.livejournal.com]

Yep. I signed up for reversathon and I lucked into a really good request. And up till about two days ago, I was having a lot of fun writing the fic. But the deadline is looming, and I'm realising I want to drag it out a lot more than I've got time for. Plus stressing over the whole "wait, crap, is this even good enough? Is it too fluffy? Is it too angsty? Is all this dialogue really boring?" thing. And it's less fun.

But at the same time, I'm a chronic non-finisher (something like 25 WIPs on my hard drive), and I know I'd probably never finish this if it weren't for the deadline, so I'm grateful for the kick in the arse. Possibly I can't really talk, though, because I haven't been in fandom (well, participating, anyway) long enough to get properly burnt out. But there does seem to be a dearth of work lately that wasn't done for some fest.

I sort of toyed with the idea of an anti-fest, with no prompts and no deadlines, but then I wondered if anyone would actually get anything done.

[photograficnerd.livejournal.com]

Good for you. You definitely should write for the love and for the art that it is. All that forced creativity is left back in school. :P

[ldybastet.livejournal.com]

That conversation about burnout is interesting. I have also experienced that I am writing mostly for various fests or challenges, with attached deadlines, and practically never just for me. I think I have managed one story that was not for any kind of challenge or something like that the last year. It really is leaving very little fun for me. I just feel incredibly stressed about fandom these days.

You mentioned in the comments that the time between OotP and HBP was a fantastic one, and I really have to agree with that! :-) I loved fandom so much then. It was inspiring and so much fun to play with various theories and subtexts. HBP killed so much for me, and I don't think I really managed to pick myself up altogether from it. And with the imminent release of DH, there's another deadline. It's easy to feel that one has to finish all the fics waiting before then. At least I feel that way. And I know that I can't.

*mumbles* Just three more fics and then no more signing up for anything...*/mumbling*

[carnimiriel.livejournal.com]

3. My new favorite catchphrase: "YOU ARE PROJECTING YOUR INTELLECTUALISM ONTO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT." *snerk*

I actually sat through this live since I was watching the webcast of the Drama Desk Awards. When I found someone had uploaded the clip to YT the next day, I couldn't resist posting it on my LJ either. Isn't it jaw-droppingly asinine?

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Yes, I completely agree. I was EXCEPTIONALLY lucky that the requests were vague enough that I was able to tailor plot bunnies I already had in my brain, so I didn't end up writing something I had no passion about. And, yes, the stories I wrote got a lot of positive vibes in fandom (Lush Life, This Boy's Life, and Help Wanted), but I had already invested quite a bit of mental time on these stories.

I am ridiculously proud of these stories, but it also meant that the WIPS that I have vowed to finish did NOT get written, and here we are, a month before the last book comes out.

Also, the longer plotty stories? I can't seem to say anything under 20,000 words any more. Really and truly. And tying myself to a fest or challenge now means a HUGE time investment. One that I'm not willing to make anymore.

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

i have a permanent account but mostly because i felt that lj deserved real cash for the amount of things i'md gained from using them. i've worked in the computer biz and i know that it takes wads of cash to make things work. not that i don't think they're doin okay, but i felt it was only fair, especially when it meant i didn't have to ever worry about doin payments again and got heaps of icon space.

and word on the fests. i've just stopped myself. will probably only do a remix sometime in the future if i get a chance. part of my drive to do them was to get known, but the fest really haven't helped with that much and my fic has suffered from the forced nature of the writing. it's too bad.

[jenab.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about all the challenges and exchanges. I can't remember the last time I finished a story that wasn't for a challenge or longer than 500 words.

I'm trying this year to do that and stay away from all exchanges except yuletide which is one I always enjoy.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I would say that fests have actually helped me write more the past couple of years. The first couple of years in HP fandom, I wrote because of the glee of it, without need for a deadline (though there were a number of fests even then, which bunnied me and did give me some schedule). But more recently, the ideas have been "hey, there's a thought; wish I had the motivation to write the whole thing..." And fests have helped give me that motivation.

[frances-veritas.livejournal.com]

I hate it when writing has become a chore. It's not like your job so you should never feel obligated to do it. It's suppose to be fun.

I would hate to read a fic by you knowing you were so stressed over writing it and didn't enjoy it at all. You're one of my favorite writers in fandom and a pretty kick ass person in general. I'm glad that you're taking your time and having fun with writing again. :-)