EEEK!!!

[emmagrant01]

THERE IS A SCORPION UNDER MY KITCHEN TABLE!! IT HAS BEEN CRAWLING AROUND BY MY FEET!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! USELESS DAMN CATS HAVE JUST BEEN WATCHING IT!!!

This capslock!Emma entry brought to you by an insane fear of things that sting.

ETA: Oh, a bit of drama! I got the tongs and managed to pick it up and get it out the door. Of course, I didn't want to squish it, so I ended up dropping it a few times. And then I noticed it was wrapped up in a spider web! So the poor little bugger had already escaped from a spider?!

See, this is how much of a weenie I am -- I'm now feeling sorry for it. I put it in the grass outside, where some larger creature will undoubtedly make a meal of it. Crisis averted. :-P

ETA 2: Should I feel weird about the fact that this random post has more comments on it than posts of many of the fics I've written? 0_o

Comments

[abbycadabra.livejournal.com]

OMG KILL IT!

*shudder*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking if I can just get it outside (with some really long tongs, perhaps), a bird could eat it or something.

*wibbles*

Why must my husband be jet-lagged and napping now???

[souliesoul.livejournal.com]

:S Squish it? Or put a bucket over it, so that it's not going to be able to get at you...

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking tongs. Then I can grab it, but from a distance, and transport it outside. :-P

[psychoticwonder.livejournal.com]

@__@ Good luck killing it!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, I probably won't kill it. I'm such a weenie that way...

[amberleewriter.livejournal.com]

EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEE!

Oh, Emma! Be careful!

*wags a finger at the cats* You guys are supposed to protect your owner. WTF?!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, they've suddenly taken an interest!

*watches, fearfully*

[silentauror.livejournal.com]

EWW! Horror! Do you have some poison you could spray at it or something? (Moving the cats out of the way first, of course!) Good luck with that - do post again once it's gone, yes?

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, no killing for me. I'll let it become a natural part of the food chain by moving it outside or something.

Eeeep.

[batagur.livejournal.com]

Coooool Scorpion! Can I have it? *G*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Can you come and get it? :-P

[yaycoffee.livejournal.com]

EEEWWWWW!!!!! *shrieks with you* AAAAAHHH!

You seem to be handling this in much the same way I would be.

*helps you find a REALLY big shoe*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I have had an irrational fear of them ever since I woke up with one in my bed once... *shudders*

[illuminations.livejournal.com]

O_O

I'd scream and perhaps smack it with a broom. Then I'd remember that I don't own a broom. >_< HORRIFICATION.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Alas, brooms don't do much damage to scorpions, IME. But tongs are also effective in moving them to a more desireable location!

[shikishi.livejournal.com]

Scorpions are lovely creatures. From a distance. A large distance.

Hope you get it out soon. And geesh, what good cats if they don't destroy your enemies?

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Yes, from a distance!

And cats are pretty good warning systems, but guards and protectors? Not so much. :-P

[hazelhawthorne.livejournal.com]

Amber came home from summer camp one year with a story of pulling a pair of undies out of her duffel only to have a scorpion crawl out of them, over her hand, drop to the floor and out the cabin door all while she was just managing to draw breath to scream.

I hope you manage to transport it to the bird buffett safely.

Sorry I'm not there to help you deal with Maurading Arachnids. They don't bug me too much.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I had a traumatic experience with a scorpion in my bed once. *shudders*

It's safely outside now!

[tm-nicholas.livejournal.com]

I just laughed. Out loud.

Thank you!

♥

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

*grins* You're welcome!

[hominysnark.livejournal.com]

USELESS DAMN CATS HAVE JUST BEEN WATCHING IT!!!

Obviously you didn't read that part of the owner's manual ....

(Glad it's out of your life now.)

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I know. But I love my little fur-babies all the same. ;-)

[mschneider.livejournal.com]

Yeah, not seeing the safety in simply putting it outside unless you drive it miles away first.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I live in a pretty heavily-wooded area, though. There are many predators out there -- certainly more than there are in here! ;-)

[prissyscilla.livejournal.com]

OMG THAT TOTALLY HAPPENED TO ME A FEW DAYS AGO. Scorpion decides my feet make a nice, fleshy crawly area and it was so GROSS and unnerving. :O :O :O Two dogs nearby just sort of sniff it as it crawls past them, and I'm hyperventalating.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

My cats growl and then cower in fear when a doorbell rings on television, but scary stinging bugs? Not so interesting. :-P

[green-key.livejournal.com]

Ha! I would've done the same exact thing. I'm the designated spider rescuer in my office.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Really? Wow. I just can't bring myself to kill things unnecessarily... :-P

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Combination of this post + that icon = Marks in hysterics for a full minute.

Heeeeeeeeeeee.

I'm glad the crisis has been averted. ;)

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

One of the really nice things about having 100 icons is that I just about have one for every occasion now! ;-)

[spacetweenears.livejournal.com]

I think I would have flushed it down the toilet.

*send anti-venom just in case*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Putting it outside is probably not all that different! :-P

[tarotemp.livejournal.com]

I swear, if I saw a scorpion in my house... I'd have to move.

Thank God the worst thing you get in the house in New England is the ocassional big spider... Which is bad enough!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I lived in Arizona for a good chunk of my life, so we had scorpions and tarantulas all the time. ;-)

[mermaidqueen.livejournal.com]

Oh my God. I am so glad I don't live in the south...scorpians don't exsist in Maryland! And to think, I got scared when a centipede would come crawling out of wherever.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

They aren't as common here as they were when I lived in Arizona!

[kathy1975.livejournal.com]

Hm. I guesss all screaming has already been done. Hell am I glad to live in New Zealand! The most dangerous thing you come across here is...hmm...like nothing?

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Really? No big bugs?

[jedirita.livejournal.com]

MWAHAHAHA!!!!

Of course, I only laugh because it happened to you and not me. :P

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Laugh it up, fuzzball! ;-)

[wordplay.livejournal.com]

Dude. This has me fully glad that I don't live in Texas anymore. When we were still living in Austin, we found a tarantula in our guest room once. Freaked me the fuck out.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I've only seen tarantulas outside before. *shudders* There aren't tongs long enough for that. I'd just let it have that wing of the house, I think!

[charlotteschaos.livejournal.com]

When I worked on sixth street near the Boiling Pot, I was walking back from getting a sandwich and I saw something black crawling over the hot sidewalk. A crawfish. The door to the Boiling Pot was cracked open, evidently the little guy made a great escape.

So I picked him up carefully and headed dutifully to the front door of the Boiling Pot, but thought 'no, he's beyond this. I'll take him back to the office and the office cat (who kept the rats away) can eat him.'

Of course, I worked with 2 vegetarians who didn't really want to get that close to nature (in spite of my homeopathic method to rat removal... although no rats came out while we were there) so again, the little crawfish (I'll call him Greg) was left in my rather dangerous hands.

I decided to put him in the creek. You know, the one that runs under 6th by 35... where the Boiling Pot is? Except the last big memory I had of that creek was watching a nutria swimming. Before that were drug busts and err... bums raping each other. It was midday but I didn't really want to walk down there. So I dropped him from the bridge in front of the courthouse. I assume this was fine, as he swam away.

Probaby to be eaten by one of the nutria.

Although I like to think he'll turn into a 30 ft mutant crawfish who will someday track me down to thank me for my kindness.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

God, that sounds like something I would do! ;-)

And I think I've seen that mutant crawfish, too...

[elrienne.livejournal.com]

Eeeek! A scorpion? Wow...You're so brave! I would have just screamed & screamed until I passed out or something...I have a serious case of bug phobia...^_^;;

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

It's more the stinger that I was concerned about, you know? :-P

[amy-leone.livejournal.com]

So, ummm... where is the big-enough-to-tackle-a-scorpion spider that he escaped from?!

0_o

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I hadn't thought of that.

*wibbles*