"Why Harry/Hermione shippers are stupid" ;-)

[emmagrant01]

Well, that's not the title, but it could be.

ginny_weasley has written a stunningly articulate and hilarious essay about why Harry/Hermione shippers are utterly, completely deluded. Even if you couldn't give a flip about the het ship wars, this is a funny, snarky, entertaining read.

A quote:
This is an essay that is directed to anybody who has ever felt the need to suggest that Ron Weasley is evil or that Ginny Weasley is a slut. This is an essay that is directed to all those who will grasp hold of everything and anything - including “evidence” from a movie - in a desperate attempt to prove their rapidly sinking ship. I must warn you that I will not be formal, or even polite, so, if you are easily offended, I urge you to continue to read. You could use a reality check before the sixth book hits bookshelves.

And there are no spoilers, in case you're as terrified of coming across them as I am. ;-)

ETA: God, even if you don't want to read the essay, just go and take a look at the nasty comments H/Hr shippers are leaving on the post! I'm so grateful we slashers don't behave that way. ;-)

ETA 2: Okay, anyone else want to unfriend me because I'm OMG so mean? *rolls eyes* Fuck, I don't even read either of those pairings. It's wankier than I thought.

Reality check time, people: Harry Potter ≠ real life, K?

Comments

[balfrog.livejournal.com]

wow - I wasn't even aware the het-ship wars were that brutal! I wonder if slash is like that. At most I've heard the "eh~ H/D shippers" (we seem to be the bottom of the barrel - though I guess as the most popular ship, there's just the sheer number of stuff folks might sneer at) and a lot of H/D and Snarry readers find it uninteresting to read the other.

Good point about bashing the other girls who could possibly be paired with Harry. One thing I firmly dislike is slamming with women/girls with "h0r!" by women/girls. Why thanks.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes -- the hate is unbelievable, isn't it? I'm actually not sure if they're serious, it's so nasty.

And yes on the last point as well. Nothing riles my feminist feathers like the word "slut" being hurled at a teenage girl -- even a fictional one.

[ashkitty.livejournal.com]

Slash shippers hate pairings (I try to keep my 'Snape/Harry is the Devil's Toilet' rants off the computer and inflict them only on my roommate, but you should see 'em, they're funny), but we don't have to worry as much about the "MINE IS CANON" thing. 'Cause none of 'em are going to ever be explicitly canon, period, and we have all come to terms with this and gone off to play in our porny little sandbox. Het shippers are VICIOUS, man.

[zhonnika.livejournal.com]

Ship wars = mock the stupid on both sides.

I second that being glad that we slashers don't give a shit!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I know! I don't "see" Snape/Harry, but it has never even occured to me to argue with anyone about it. I mean geez, I know Harry/Draco is a fiction of my (and several thousand other like-minded perverts') imaginations. And I don't really care. :-P

[smoonyc.livejournal.com]

I ship H/Hr ;) But I also ship H/D...I reallly like H/Hr/D..but don't find as much of that around!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

It's not the shipping that gets me -- it's the level of debate. At least slashers agree it's all a matter of interpretation, but the het shippers seem to think they're talking about truth. Which they may be, I suppose. It's not like Harry is going to suddenly develop a crush on Draco in the next book, but he may well end up snogging in a dark corner with one of the girls in the book.

[mermaidqueen.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha! How true that is. Thanks for the link.

~So not a H/Hr shipper.

[wordplay.livejournal.com]

And it's not just slashers - the rarepairs people tend to be more casual about it, too. Anybody without a stake in canon can just have fun with it - it's the canon predictive stuff that gets everybody all freaked out. As it is, I ship Harry/Draco and Percy/Hermione and, um, I'll not be holding my breath for either of those, thanks. :))

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Good point. The Hagrid/Luna folks just aren't out thumping their copies of OOTP, are they? I suppose if you ship something that might actually happen in the book, it gives you a different level of personal investment in these arguments. :-P

[ashe-frost.livejournal.com]

Hetwars feels like watching some obsessive team sport I care very little about on television.. The amount of psychotic frenzy that people get worked into is scary.. You're debating a fandom, not a religion. Then, I've seen Christians and Pagans argue more civilly than this.

Still, the whole thing is strangely amusing.. Especially since I see things in the way of Ron/Hermione, and my side's winning.

Also: What's with all the weird ship names? I heard of the S.S. Guns and Handcuffs but no one really uses that, do they? Most people say "Harry/Draco" or "H/D". Where did this whole H.M.S. Pumpkin Pie/Harmonian insanity come from? It's.. Not my thing.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

If we're talking about what seems likely to happen in the books, I just don't see Harry/Hermione. I don't ship Ron/Hermione or Harry/Ginny particularly, but I'd put my money on Ron/Hermione because there's just so many hints about it in the books. You don't even have to be looking for it to see it.

But fan fiction is different. A good writer can make me enjoy just about any pairing. I've read Harry/Hermione and Ron/Hermione that I've enjoyed, but it's separate from canon. Actually, my favorite het pairing is Harry/Tonks. Which is just SO not going to happen! ;-)

And ditto on the weird ship names. Of course, I don't like things like "Snarry" either...

[thrupenny.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link - that essay is pure gold. I don't get rabid shipping at all, of any stripe, because what does it matter? Even after book seven, when canon is fully established, people will still ship who they want to. Even Sirius' death didn't stop the R/S slashers, God love 'em, and there are few greater obstacles to a pairing than that!

I don't see H/Hr myself, but I'm not going to fight anyone over it. I will, however, fight anyone who says that Ginny Weasley is a slut, because that's not on.

[didi522.livejournal.com]

Hilarious.

[lover-of-slash.livejournal.com]

This essay is love...really. Thanks for the link! I have been commenting on it since I read it :P

[shudaizi.livejournal.com]

*dies of icon love* Thats just awesome.

[blue-hearts.livejournal.com]

Must admit that there have been many times I have found myself refraining from asking people in the fandom why they are there without an open mind. Haha, I havn't read the link yet but I'm sure it'll have good and bad sides from both perspectives.

I just wonder sometimes why people are even in a fandom if they don't let other people have their imagination run wild either.

Note, I really don't opose any pairing or any kink. Everyone's business is their own. Though there are one's that bother me, it's not in my place to say whether they are right or wrong. Everyone has their own theories. Haha, wow, this sounds like I'm bashing on the link but I'm not. Just stating my thoughts on the matter.

Thanks for the link though. *hugs*

[ackonrad.livejournal.com]

ginny_weasley has written a stunningly articulate and hilarious essay about why Harry/Hermione shippers are utterly, completely deluded.

You know, this sounds like you completely agree with that statement. May I ask why I'm on your flist if you think I'm deluded for shipping H/Hr?

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Why? Is your liking one fictional pairing over another the be all and end all of your personality. *eyeroll*

[shudaizi.livejournal.com]

ETA: God, even if you don't want to read the essay, just go and take a look at the nasty comments H/Hr shippers are leaving on the post! I'm so grateful we slashers don't behave that way. ;-)
Reply to this:

You know, I clicked on the link before I read that part and was thinking the exact same thing. We slashers know we dont have a snowballs chance in Florida of seeing our pairings in canon, so we just pick what we want, and leave the rest alone.

Except the Gundam Wing fandom...that one could get a little messy, but the similarities lead me to believe that the guilty in both fandoms are all about 12.

[themadfish.livejournal.com]

Well, I think a decent amount of slashers(at least if they're in the anime fandom) were GW slashers when they were 12. They just got smarter.

Um, well, at least I was around 12-14 when I was in the GW fandom.

[ravyn-ashling.livejournal.com]

I'm so grateful we slashers don't behave that way. ;-)

Ah, yes. Of course we don't. It probably has to do with the fact that we have already accepted it in our hearts that Harry and Draco are never going to get married after Book 7. Or, that's what JKR wants us to believe... XP

[marciadanielle.livejournal.com]

Lol! That was hilarious! Thanks for posting that! And man, are some people brutal! They're insane I tell you, insane!!

(And you're totally right, I've never seen slashers behave anything like that! I agree with everyone who has said it's because we all know it's never going to happen in canon.)

Although if Harry does want to run off with Sanpe in the end, I for one would NOT be complaing! ;)

*runs away and hides under a rock*

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

Dear God in heaven. Unfriended for posting a link?

Harry/Draco: theirloveissocanon

Or not. Really, who cares.

Even though Harry/Ginny looks about as convincing as Harry/Draco, I suspect JKR could well pull it off. *looks around flist for people who might unfriend on this basis*

Thanks for posting, it's very hilarious, particularly for being a rant.

[niza-74.livejournal.com]

Now, I love you even more.

Stupidity and Intolerence are Universal and Eternal

[caorann.livejournal.com]

LOL, I'm laughing not only at the whole "shipper wars" thing, but the idea that slashers don't get into wars over pairings. If you've been in fandom as long as I have (OMG, I'm an Old Fan. Shoot me now.) you know that's not true. The Due South Ray/Ray wars where people not only unfriended people, but got into both cyber and real fistfights over which Ray was Benton Fraser's One True Love was an egregious example. People were outed to family, friends and employers by angry former friends, blood was spilled (yes, in some cases literally) and it still affects that fandom today. It's the worst example I can think of, but there are certainly others. And let's not even get into the wars over RPS, incest and chan. Oh, and whether femmeslash is really slash. Come on, you haven't heard anyone get heated about Fred/George or Padma/Pavarti? I have.

Unfortunately, some people get really invested in fandom and take it far too seriously. I'm with you; this is just not something to get that torqued about. Then again, I just spent 3 days working on a meta essay on why I think some people are writing a certain character unrealistically and why they should just do it my way, DAMN IT! But I fully recognize my silliness.

Re: Stupidity and Intolerence are Universal and Eternal

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

You know, my experience has been just the opposite. Granted I've only been in fandom for three years and have been involved only in two fandoms total, but I've never seen any slashers behave as horribly as the H/Hr vs. R/Hr shippers do. It really, truly, blows me away that people would lose sight of reality quite so much.

You can always find wank and snark if you go looking for it, of course. I tend to travel in circles that just don't go there. Stumbling across something as nasty as this battle and then finding myself getting shit for merely pointing it out is about as close as I want to ever get. :-P

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

I don't know.
I hate R/Hr and H/Hr (and H/L and H/G, too! *is an equal opportunities hater* ;) but I didn't really rate that essay. Personally. Just seemed a bit mean-spirited.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

The thing is that it was snarky and mean-spirited on purpose. That was the point, as far as I can tell. She seemed to want to write the snarkiest essay she could on the subject, and she definitely succeeded. I read it with tongue firmly planted in cheek, as the author intended it to be read, and I found it quite entertaining as a result.

Clearly, many people are taking this shipping thing WAY too seriously.

OMG

[glorielle.livejournal.com]

I can't believe someone would unfriend you over your sense of humor. Honesty, I've always liked it! :) Their loss.

I was going to read the essay, but I don't have that kind of time right now. I mean, who publishes a piece about FICTIONAL characters in extra-FICTIONAL situations and footnotes it?. I'm far too busy trying to avoid spoiler for HBP. I've made bookmarks of your recent recs, but since I read Cybele's "If You Are Prepared" a week before OoTP came out, I learned my lesson. Just Avoid, and stop taking it so seriously.

I'll start on STG after I finish #6. I'm looking forward to it!

Re: OMG

[thalia]

since I read Cybele's "If You Are Prepared" a week before OoTP came out, I learned my lesson

I'm curious, what was wrong with that? I read IYAP shortly before OotP, but I didn't notice any spoilers. Of course, I could have been totally oblivious. [g]

(And I just re-read IYAP last week and sobbed through the last two chapters all over again.)

[metal-dog5.livejournal.com]

Yep, that was an entertaining read. It's nearly as bad as the Clark/Lana (Smallville) shippers vs. everyone on the planet ;) Now where did I leave my marshmallows?



: Okay, anyone else want to unfriend me because I'm OMG so mean?

o.O Seriously? The snark must have hit bone.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, yeah. Seriously. :-P

[maudelynn.livejournal.com]

Oh boy if you even dare call Lupin a moon barker or snape a bit damaged i am so gonna tell all my friends not to friend you...
good grief...if she really did defriend you over this i am glad her life is so trauma free...if this is the WORST thing that ever causes her to dump a friend well good for her...
hey zeus...