"Why Harry/Hermione shippers are stupid" ;-)

[emmagrant01]

Well, that's not the title, but it could be.

ginny_weasley has written a stunningly articulate and hilarious essay about why Harry/Hermione shippers are utterly, completely deluded. Even if you couldn't give a flip about the het ship wars, this is a funny, snarky, entertaining read.

A quote:
This is an essay that is directed to anybody who has ever felt the need to suggest that Ron Weasley is evil or that Ginny Weasley is a slut. This is an essay that is directed to all those who will grasp hold of everything and anything - including “evidence” from a movie - in a desperate attempt to prove their rapidly sinking ship. I must warn you that I will not be formal, or even polite, so, if you are easily offended, I urge you to continue to read. You could use a reality check before the sixth book hits bookshelves.

And there are no spoilers, in case you're as terrified of coming across them as I am. ;-)

ETA: God, even if you don't want to read the essay, just go and take a look at the nasty comments H/Hr shippers are leaving on the post! I'm so grateful we slashers don't behave that way. ;-)

ETA 2: Okay, anyone else want to unfriend me because I'm OMG so mean? *rolls eyes* Fuck, I don't even read either of those pairings. It's wankier than I thought.

Reality check time, people: Harry Potter ≠ real life, K?

Comments

[balfrog.livejournal.com]

wow - I wasn't even aware the het-ship wars were that brutal! I wonder if slash is like that. At most I've heard the "eh~ H/D shippers" (we seem to be the bottom of the barrel - though I guess as the most popular ship, there's just the sheer number of stuff folks might sneer at) and a lot of H/D and Snarry readers find it uninteresting to read the other.

Good point about bashing the other girls who could possibly be paired with Harry. One thing I firmly dislike is slamming with women/girls with "h0r!" by women/girls. Why thanks.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes -- the hate is unbelievable, isn't it? I'm actually not sure if they're serious, it's so nasty.

And yes on the last point as well. Nothing riles my feminist feathers like the word "slut" being hurled at a teenage girl -- even a fictional one.

[zhonnika.livejournal.com]

Ship wars = mock the stupid on both sides.

I second that being glad that we slashers don't give a shit!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I know! I don't "see" Snape/Harry, but it has never even occured to me to argue with anyone about it. I mean geez, I know Harry/Draco is a fiction of my (and several thousand other like-minded perverts') imaginations. And I don't really care. :-P

[noey-too.livejournal.com]

Ditto. And I never even knew het-wars existed. Weirdness.

[smoonyc.livejournal.com]

I ship H/Hr ;) But I also ship H/D...I reallly like H/Hr/D..but don't find as much of that around!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

It's not the shipping that gets me -- it's the level of debate. At least slashers agree it's all a matter of interpretation, but the het shippers seem to think they're talking about truth. Which they may be, I suppose. It's not like Harry is going to suddenly develop a crush on Draco in the next book, but he may well end up snogging in a dark corner with one of the girls in the book.

[mermaidqueen.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha! How true that is. Thanks for the link.

~So not a H/Hr shipper.

[wordplay.livejournal.com]

And it's not just slashers - the rarepairs people tend to be more casual about it, too. Anybody without a stake in canon can just have fun with it - it's the canon predictive stuff that gets everybody all freaked out. As it is, I ship Harry/Draco and Percy/Hermione and, um, I'll not be holding my breath for either of those, thanks. :))

[ashkitty.livejournal.com]

Slash shippers hate pairings (I try to keep my 'Snape/Harry is the Devil's Toilet' rants off the computer and inflict them only on my roommate, but you should see 'em, they're funny), but we don't have to worry as much about the "MINE IS CANON" thing. 'Cause none of 'em are going to ever be explicitly canon, period, and we have all come to terms with this and gone off to play in our porny little sandbox. Het shippers are VICIOUS, man.

[ashe-frost.livejournal.com]

Hetwars feels like watching some obsessive team sport I care very little about on television.. The amount of psychotic frenzy that people get worked into is scary.. You're debating a fandom, not a religion. Then, I've seen Christians and Pagans argue more civilly than this.

Still, the whole thing is strangely amusing.. Especially since I see things in the way of Ron/Hermione, and my side's winning.

Also: What's with all the weird ship names? I heard of the S.S. Guns and Handcuffs but no one really uses that, do they? Most people say "Harry/Draco" or "H/D". Where did this whole H.M.S. Pumpkin Pie/Harmonian insanity come from? It's.. Not my thing.

[thrupenny.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link - that essay is pure gold. I don't get rabid shipping at all, of any stripe, because what does it matter? Even after book seven, when canon is fully established, people will still ship who they want to. Even Sirius' death didn't stop the R/S slashers, God love 'em, and there are few greater obstacles to a pairing than that!

I don't see H/Hr myself, but I'm not going to fight anyone over it. I will, however, fight anyone who says that Ginny Weasley is a slut, because that's not on.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

That's the thing -- slash is all a matter of subtext, which is creative intrpretation at best. Shipping H/S or H/D is more a matter of liking or not liking teacher/student relatiosnhips than of any canonical evidence. There's not much point in those groups lashing out at each other about their interpretations of canon, cause dude -- there's not much there!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Good point. The Hagrid/Luna folks just aren't out thumping their copies of OOTP, are they? I suppose if you ship something that might actually happen in the book, it gives you a different level of personal investment in these arguments. :-P

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

If we're talking about what seems likely to happen in the books, I just don't see Harry/Hermione. I don't ship Ron/Hermione or Harry/Ginny particularly, but I'd put my money on Ron/Hermione because there's just so many hints about it in the books. You don't even have to be looking for it to see it.

But fan fiction is different. A good writer can make me enjoy just about any pairing. I've read Harry/Hermione and Ron/Hermione that I've enjoyed, but it's separate from canon. Actually, my favorite het pairing is Harry/Tonks. Which is just SO not going to happen! ;-)

And ditto on the weird ship names. Of course, I don't like things like "Snarry" either...

[didi522.livejournal.com]

Hilarious.

[themadfish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not sure if I like those ship names. It took me forever to realise that heron was Hermione/Ron and not the bird.

[ashkitty.livejournal.com]

Yes. And we can make arguments, too. We just know to take them all with a grain of salt, because so many of us are English majors specialising in bullshit that we could make a case for anything if we REALLY tried...but that wouldn't make it right. ;)

[lover-of-slash.livejournal.com]

This essay is love...really. Thanks for the link! I have been commenting on it since I read it :P

[blue-hearts.livejournal.com]

Must admit that there have been many times I have found myself refraining from asking people in the fandom why they are there without an open mind. Haha, I havn't read the link yet but I'm sure it'll have good and bad sides from both perspectives.

I just wonder sometimes why people are even in a fandom if they don't let other people have their imagination run wild either.

Note, I really don't opose any pairing or any kink. Everyone's business is their own. Though there are one's that bother me, it's not in my place to say whether they are right or wrong. Everyone has their own theories. Haha, wow, this sounds like I'm bashing on the link but I'm not. Just stating my thoughts on the matter.

Thanks for the link though. *hugs*

[zentariana.livejournal.com]

But, oh. I'd really like it if H/D came true.
They're just so good together.
Let's just wait a few days and see.

I have a huge desire to have JKR suddenly start in with some slash and then, when it gets good, write "KIDDING!!" and then continue on with her story.

It would delight me.

[niwatorimegami.livejournal.com]

Loving your icon like WHOA.

[niwatorimegami.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the best slashers can hope for is that Remus is left alone in the girl department. Then R/S will live ambiguously on for eternity! *chuckles*

[niwatorimegami.livejournal.com]

I just had the worst mental image of a lovechild of Ron and Hermione with a really long neck and insanely poofy fringe.

[charlotteschaos.livejournal.com]

Alas, they are serious. Although I thought it was funny :)