Badfic blues

[emmagrant01]

Have you ever read the summary of a newly-posted fic, and thought it sounded like something you would like, only to be disappointed almost immediately? Like, in the first line?

This just happened to me ten seconds ago. I feel terrible about it, but ya know, if the fic contains a blatant grammatical error or misspelling in the very first line, it just shuts me down. I can't read on. Yeah, I know it's my loss, and that the fic might be great if I just overlooked that one error, but it says something to me about what I might find in the fic in general. My fandom time is limited, and it's my choice how to spend it. Why should I force myself to read fic that annoys me?


Other things that turn me off:
• Four paragraphs of backstory before there's any hint as to what the story is about.
• Excessive use of terms like "the blond" or "the Gryffindor".
• Unnecessary description in general. I don't need to know the details of what each character is wearing unless it's important for the story. Really.
• Song lyrics incorporated into the text of the story. Just... no.
• First-time sex followed by an immediate declaration of eternal love. *vomits*
• First-time sex that is perfect, complete with simultaneous orgasms. (Or maybe the author knows something I don't?)

So what does it for you? What will make you stop reading a fic and hit the back button as fast as you can?

ETA: Y'all really needed to get this shit out of your systems, didn't you? *grins*

Comments

[jadyn.livejournal.com]

Just dropping by, had to add something. I know description overkill's been mentioned, but once upon a time I came across a fic that went even a step further. The author was *gushing* over the main character the WHOLE DAMN STORY! Every time he made an appearance she would spend a whole paragraph describing in detail just how beautiful and wonderful and heavenly he was. :P That was nasty.

It was TPM and you can probably guess who the main character was. ;)

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

did it start with an "O" and then a second name that starts with a "W"? ;)

[jadyn.livejournal.com]

No, name's only got 1 word and starts with a 'Y'. ;-D *kidding*

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[batagur.livejournal.com]

There is a sub-set of Obi worship. It's Obi-Wan's eyes over description. Some authors can go on for pages about his eyes alone!

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

"Ever-changeable eyes, from stormy gray to sea green to cerulean blue, changing in a moment with a single smoldering touch from his master. Oh, those eyes! He could school his features to exude calmness, but his eyes would give away his true feelings to anyone who cared to give him a second glance."

*whee* this is fun! :D

[batagur.livejournal.com]

Okay, I just shot soda out my nose, wise guy! :D

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

*sporfle*

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

What's really sad about that is that it's the only thing I've writting fandom-wise in a couple of weeks.

Figures. :pouts:

[coconutswirl.livejournal.com]

But what colour eyes *does* Ewan Obi have?!?!

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

everything but brown or black. *G*

[coconutswirl.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

*hugs*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes... good old Obi-worship! Blech.

[thalia]

If it's any consolation, Blair gets the same treatment in The Sentinel fandom. And Daniel in Stargate. It's very, very scary.