Badfic blues

[emmagrant01]

Have you ever read the summary of a newly-posted fic, and thought it sounded like something you would like, only to be disappointed almost immediately? Like, in the first line?

This just happened to me ten seconds ago. I feel terrible about it, but ya know, if the fic contains a blatant grammatical error or misspelling in the very first line, it just shuts me down. I can't read on. Yeah, I know it's my loss, and that the fic might be great if I just overlooked that one error, but it says something to me about what I might find in the fic in general. My fandom time is limited, and it's my choice how to spend it. Why should I force myself to read fic that annoys me?


Other things that turn me off:
• Four paragraphs of backstory before there's any hint as to what the story is about.
• Excessive use of terms like "the blond" or "the Gryffindor".
• Unnecessary description in general. I don't need to know the details of what each character is wearing unless it's important for the story. Really.
• Song lyrics incorporated into the text of the story. Just... no.
• First-time sex followed by an immediate declaration of eternal love. *vomits*
• First-time sex that is perfect, complete with simultaneous orgasms. (Or maybe the author knows something I don't?)

So what does it for you? What will make you stop reading a fic and hit the back button as fast as you can?

ETA: Y'all really needed to get this shit out of your systems, didn't you? *grins*

Comments

[coconutswirl.livejournal.com]

If a male character who, in canon is stoic and closed off, weeps openly in a fic, I'm gone. If he's weeping and listening to Celine Dion

Fond, fond, fond memories arise of Mulder and his inexplicable love for wistful, emotional Lillith Fair music. Sarah McLachlan, anyone? Grrr..

[pinn2480.livejournal.com]

I was also thinking of the numerous fics where Mulder and Scully discover their true feelings while listening to a Celine Dion song, 'Because you loved me' from that Robert Redford/Michelle Pfieffer movie. That's good stuff, good stuff.

[coconutswirl.livejournal.com]

Oooh, or the one where Scully made Mulder a mix tape? Or did he make her a mix tape? Nevermind, the end result was a long tearful conversation over the mobile phone whilst Mulder was driving to Scully's apartment. Okay, that was so darn awful that it tipped off the scale and became good fun.

Gosh, I feel like revisiting my old XF fic folder!