Ficlet: A Little Thing (H/D, NC-17)

[emmagrant01]

Just cos I felt like it. I have been doing quite a bit of writing lately, mostly on my merry_smutmas fic! :-P But dude, I'm missing my OTP!

Title: A Little Thing
Author: Emma Grant
Rated: NC-17
Pairing: Harry/Draco (post-Hogwarts)
Summary: Things happen. Don't let it interfere with your life.
Note: This started out as a drabble, but ran away from me. Un-beta'd.



+++++

Draco licked a long, slow stripe up Harry's chest, tongue wriggling just a little, slowing when it tangled in the wiry hairs on his chest, darting to the side to circle one nipple. Slowly.

Harry's head fell back. He tried very hard not to grin. Draco so loved to gloat. That tongue was lapping at his throat now, and over his chin, and--

"Mmmmph," he said, not turning his head away in time. He hated the taste of his own come. He didn't mind someone else's, but his own... the idea just weirded him out.

"But you taste so good," Draco breathed against his lips before plunging his tongue in again.

"No I don't," Harry moaned, twisting his head away. Draco stuck his tongue in Harry's ear instead.

"Ugh, that's it!" Harry cried, and flipped Draco onto his back. Draco bounced a little, and his forehead cracked against Harry's.

"Ow!" In unison.

"You dumb fuck," Draco groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry grumbled, rubbing his head too. "It's your own fault for fighting back."

Draco's witty retort was cut off by Harry's mouth.

"You were saying?" Harry asked when he came up for air.

"That it's just a little thing," Draco sighed.

Harry slid down to rest on his belly between Draco's thighs. "This little thing?" he grinned.

"You're blind," Draco replied, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. "It's huge."

"Only in your own mind," Harry muttered, staring at Draco's cock. Actually, he didn't think it was all that small. It was just fun to tease Draco about it. He'd been sensitive to it once, when he was very drunk, but otherwise he brushed Harry's comments aside. "But I don't let that bother me."

"If it's so small, why don't I just slip it in your--"

Harry swallowed Draco's cock before he could finish the sentence. Draco's suggestion turned into a strangled moan.

Harry gave great head, and he knew it. What he didn't do was bottom, no matter how much Draco begged. He didn't even like fingers in his arse; it did nothing for him. He liked to fuck, and Draco liked to be fucked, so it all worked out, most of the time.

Harry sucked, working his tongue along the shaft as he did, cupping Draco's balls. His saliva coated the shaft after a few minutes, trickling down into the wiry blond hairs beneath his chin. Draco's hands were covering his face now and he was breathing erratically.

Harry was shocked to feel his own erection returning -- that hardly ever happened. It had been a few weeks since they'd seen each other, though, so maybe that had something to do with it.

Draco's moaning intensified, and Harry released his cock, sitting up.

"Wha--?" Draco asked, opening his eyes.

Harry fumbled through the drawer of the nightstand table, finally coming up with a condom and a tube of lube. He rolled the condom on as quickly as he could, slicked himself, and pulled Draco's legs up and over his shoulders.

Draco was staring at him, wide-eyed.

"This okay?" Harry asked.

Draco snorted. "Does it matter?"

Harry froze. "Of course it matters. How can you say that?"

Draco looked away and then back again. "Yes, it's okay."

Harry moved his cock into position and pushed forward. Draco grimaced, but otherwise stayed silent. His erection wilted a little. Harry plastered his forehead with kisses, whispering apologies. He usually took his time with this. It had been a while. There had been a few quick blow jobs between missions, but they hadn't had a whole night together in six weeks.

"Okay," Draco breathed, relaxing back against the mattress. He closed his eyes. His face was still tense.

Harry began to move as slowly as he dared, pulling out and pushing back in, wanting this to feel good for Draco, willing it to feel good. He tilted his hips in that angle that always worked, watching Draco's face.

"Mmmm," Draco said at last, reaching down to pull at his dick. Harry pushed his hand away and pulled his cock for him.

It didn't take long: Draco's face contorted in that familiar way, he held his breath, and then his mouth opened in a soundless scream.

He never made a sound when he came. Ever.

Harry rode it out, then let himself come. He collapsed against Draco afterwards, strangely emotional. Overwhelmed. Like he could cry, if he didn't stop himself.

He sat up, holding onto the condom and pulling out of Draco's arse. He tossed the soiled condom to the floor, trying to collect himself.

"You okay?" Draco's hand trailed down his back.

Harry clenched his eyes shut. He was not okay. The morning would come, and they'd be back out in the field, where there was a war going on and people would kill them as soon as look at them. He didn't know when they'd see each other again.

All he wanted, sometimes, was a normal life. One where he went to a boring job he hated every day, and he came home to someone who loved him, and they'd pan-fry fish for dinner and drink wine, then cuddle together and watch telly. And make love, slowly and sweetly, before going to sleep. And then do it again the next day.

But he couldn't have that. Not now, maybe not ever.

"Hey," Draco's hand stopped moving. Harry felt his friend's body press against him from behind, arms circling his chest. "What is it?"

Harry opened his mouth. I love you, he thought, but it doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter. I may never tell you, because I'm afraid of what would happen if you loved me too.

"Nothing," he sighed, taking one of Draco's hands in his and kissing it. "It's... just a little thing."

FIN



ETA: Also posted here on pornish_pixies.

Comments

[tm-nicholas.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to make a 20 year old cry?!

Geez... I was emotional enough already!

That was really good, though... I always love your fics, long or short. Please don't forget about poor H/D! ;x

Thanks!!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks! I love this pairing, so don't worry! I have no plans to leave it any time soon!

[slashprincess.livejournal.com]

oh god that was amazing! loved it! love your harry and dracos!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[tortietta.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is just perfect! I haven't read any fic in over a month, and to read this as the first post on my flist is just delicious.

I love how both Harry and Draco have a certain depth to them even in something so simple.

<3

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

So, good timing, huh? Thanks so much!

[figoo.livejournal.com]

This was just the thing to end a really good day. Lots of free music and Emma porn. Very hot, very sweet.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Free music?

[altiloquent.livejournal.com]

Sad but beautiful and sexy. Great safe sex as well! Well done as always.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I know safe sex in fanfic bugs some people, but I can't help myself. It's in all my fics! :-P

[liato.livejournal.com]

I love this! Thankyou so much for the lovely fic. I woke up feeling quite horrible, but after reading this all those bad feelings are gone.

It would be very interesting to see a ficlet of Harry's dream; where everything is actually very, very normal and "boring", but they're both able to enjoy eachother's company.

This was great. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you! How sweet! I think there are a few fics out there along the lines of Harry's "dream". But the angst... I do love it so! ;-)

[shikishi.livejournal.com]

Beautifully done. Love the denial in Harry.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Yes, denial!Harry is pretty much canonical for me!

[jedirita.livejournal.com]

Guh. I prostate myself before your udder brilliance.

Anyone can write smut. (Well okay, not me.) It's the emotions here that got to me. So brilliantly understated, and all the more powerful because of that. And the way the sex conveyed the emotions at the same time that the boyz are incapable of verbally expressing them. I could really feel that sudden shift in emotion in Harry when he abruptly finds himself wanting to cry. Sex that divides at the same time that it unites: one of my favorite themes! So very real. So very brilliant.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie.... this is the most amazing feedback! And it means so much, coming from you!

The funny thing is that I really intended to write a drabble, but this story sort of formed before I knew it. I wrote this in half an hour. Normally I labor over a fic, and rewrite, rewrite, but on this one I didn't feel the need. It would probably have been better for a good beta, but... I just felt like writing something and posting it.

I'm really glad you mentioned the emotions, because that was the whole point of this ficlet. I like sex scenes in which there's a conflict going on that is being acted out through the sex. In this one, it's all about control for Harry: he wants desperately to be in control of this situation, but he isn't. And at the end, when he realizes he can't control it, he decides to shut it out instead. So instead of facing his feelings, which he can't control, he pushes them aside. It's the only way he can remain in control. ANGST!

Well, that's what I was going for, at least! Thanks again! *hugs*

[cenas-plots.livejournal.com]

Awww. Emma, that was so sweet.
A perfect blend of loving-ness and sadness.
And Harry's fear of telling Draco he loves him
because of what might become of Draco.
So lovely.
*hugs*

<333

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

And Harry's fear of telling Draco he loves him because of what might become of Draco.

Oh, interesting! That wasn't what I was imagining Harry was worried about!

[doxxed-up.livejournal.com]

Argh...sad ending, but so beautiful...I like the fact that they wear protection, that's hardly ever seen in fandom. Good for you :)

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think my penchant for writing safe sex comes from QAF. :-)

[jexay.livejournal.com]

Oh that was lovely!

Harry opened his mouth. I love you, he thought, but it doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter. I may never tell you, because I'm afraid of what would happen if you loved me too.

A nice look into Harry's head. Kind of makes me wonder the before and after of this piece.

My icon is in honor of 'Tongue in Cheek' and in the hope you'll write an equally lovely H/D rimming scene. *winks*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

Oh, and the icon: that scene was the very one that turned me on to rimming as a kink. It was just another thing people did in bed, until I first saw that lovely little Brian/Justin moment... *drools*

[dancingrain.livejournal.com]

Oh! So... Love the insight into H's emotions here. Mmm, men getting emotional about sex. It's nice as a reader to have enough there to feel invested in the characters in a quick one-shot, too, for a change from the usual I've been reading lately.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I really like male characters that try to pretend it's just sex, though it's really more than that. I guess it's an attempt to write men as more emotional than they're typically allowed to be?

*whimper*

[(Anonymous)]

Oh poor Harry! Life sucks and then you die. *cries*

Gloriousgentry

Re: *whimper*

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I guess that could have been a good summary line too! :-P

Thanks!

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for writing (and posting) this! I liked it very much. You're such a gifted writer.

~Mia

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Despite the sad face? ;-) Thank you!

[oconel]

Whoa... You did a good job with that! You have sex (even safe!sex XDD) but you also have feelings.

it doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter

You make it sound real.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Yes, safe sex and feelings! *grins* Seriously, thanks. I really apprerciate it!

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

*purr*

and Wah! Poor them.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

I do so love angst! ;-) Thank you.

[lazy-daze.livejournal.com]

<33333 beautiful! Wah! <3333

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[northern-rain.livejournal.com]

OMG I want to cry.

I don't know why, I can't reason it at all, but the end just made me want to cry.

I liked it, don't get me wrong (how could I not, tis H/D after all!)...but any chance of a sequel, just a little happily ever after ficlet to let yourself indulge in H/D some more.

Louise

PS hows the sequel for LMH going????????

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks so much! Actually, no plans to write any more about this one - it was just a one-shot. ;-)

The LMH sequel has been set aside temporarily while I'm writing a fic for merry_smutmas. I'm also waiting for some feedback on the synopsis from my betas. :-)

[lavender-rose.livejournal.com]

So much angst. I can't stand it. But I love bottom!draco, very nice.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

*grins* Yes, angst is fun! Thanks you for commenting.

[winstonmom.livejournal.com]

Emma:
Great !!!!
Not enough words to convey how wonderful your story was.... I was happy to see some good emma writing in my list.
I love Harry and the boatload of confusing feelings he seems to deal with everyday. On the other hand all this angst stops him from really enjoying everything he does 100%. Someone needs to teach him some good old live and enjoy the day "carpe dium" (don't know how to spell it) and for that I think Draco will volunteer his services......and with a little help from Emma our Harry will pull through.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

This ficlet actually came out of a conversation I had with someone who'd recently come back from Iraq. She talked about the surrealness of being there, and how the possibility of a normal life where she dealt with normal, everyday problems seemed so far away. I thought about that as a basis for writing a mid-war H/D tryst.

Thanks so much!

[anise-anise.livejournal.com]

Oh, Emma. It's beautiful. :D

I love Draco and I love their banter at the beginning. The sex was gorgeous and when Harry felt like he was going to cry I was holding my breath. The ending wrapped it up nicely, weaving everything together. What a gorgeous fic. *hugs you*

Thanks for sharing!!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! Wow.

[amber-wind.livejournal.com]

Sweet, gentle, beautiful, just a little bit sad...
Wonderful.
BTW, it could happen (although, I'm not saying it did, mind you)in BSC universe, somewhere in the future...

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that's an interesting thought! Thanks for reading.

[zionsstarfish.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm. I can kind of feel where it turned into Something More, but I'm really glad it did. The emotions at the end were heart-wrenching and lovely, and the awkwardness between them was believable, and felt genuine. <3!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm always hoping emotions come across well, so that's nice to hear!

[willysunny.livejournal.com]

Ohgod, sweetie. This is so beautiful - my heart is breaking for them. And, not to seem goofy, but it was the little things you added that did me in: the silent scream, Harry teasing Draco about his 'size', Harry squeezing his eyes shut - overwhelmed. There are so many gorgeous details.

I was having an extremely stressful day, and jexay sent me the link to this fic. It really helped.

Thank you for this wonderful story.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so much! I love it when people notice details in things I write, since every detail was put in for a reason. Sometimes people focus on the sex -- which is fine, of course -- but for me it's not about the sex at all. It's about what the people are feeling, and how that is instantiated through (often bad) sex. I appreciate it when people comment along those lines!