Untitled Part 11
Feb. 20th, 2003 04:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emmagrant01Part 11
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
emmagrant01
Rating: R for language
Summary: Obi and Siri react to what happened at the end of part 10
Disclaimer: Lucas and Watson, blah, blah.
Notes: This seems like a bad time to post, but every time I check, LJ seems to be doing a little better...
*******************************
Obi-Wan's teacup shattered as it hit the floor, sending droplets of warm liquid in every direction. He crumpled forward, falling off of the sofa, holding his head in his hands and crying out sharply.
First, he'd felt a sense of growing anxiety, then a stab of panic and anger, and then... nothing. Absolutely nothing was there in that place in his brain that was always aware of Anakin. He always felt Anakin there, sometimes as a buzz under his thoughts, sometimes as waves of unpredictable and inexplicable emotion, sometimes in directed thoughts that were so loud they made his head hurt. But now it was gone. There was nothing.
His vision was blurry and his ears rang. He pushed himself up on his hands and knees. His brain buzzed from the pain and confusion, and he had difficulty forming coherent thoughts. He took a deep breath, reaching out to the Force, trying to feel for his padawan.
It hurt. He doubled over anew in pain, clutching his head, pressing hard on his temples. He let go and the pain started to fade. His first lucid thought was that something had happened to Anakin. Something terrible had happened to the child who was his responsibility, whom he was supposed to teach and protect.
Panic set in, and the flare in his emotions eased the pain in his head unexpectedly. He let them flow a little more strongly. No, that wasn't right -- he shouldn't do that.
Pull yourself together. You're of no help to him in this state. The pain of the training bond being so abruptly broken was slowly fading from a sharp stabbing sensation to a more tolerable pounding ache in his temple. He took several deep breaths and opened his eyes. Siri was staring at him, pale and wide-eyed. She looked as if she might throw up.
It took two attempts before his voice obeyed his command to speak. "Can you feel Ferus?"
"No."
"I can't feel Anakin at all. He's just... gone."
Gone!
Why the fuck was he still sitting here? He leapt to his feet and headed for the door. He didn't have to look to see that Siri was right behind him. They headed towards the gardens and were inexorably drawn in one direction. The eddies of the Force had been greatly disturbed somewhere nearby, and they could see it, feel it, hear it. The very emptiness in the Force where there had once been two Jedi screamed loudly in their ears. They ran, drawn to the same place.
Obi-Wan's mind stormed as he ran, unbalanced by the loss of the bond. What had happened? He had never felt, or even heard of anything like this before. Was Anakin hurt? Was he dead?
That thought brought on nausea almost instantly, which made him stumble slightly. He steeled his stomach and forced it back down. Not now.
Anakin couldn't be dead, could he? Obi-Wan had experienced a bond broken by death -- when Qui-Gon died -- but it had just faded gradually. It had not been severed like this. He remembered the feeling of it slipping away, like smoke through his fingers, like a dream that fades when one first wakes. It was horrible and devastating and one of the worst moments in his life.
He began to realize that this was worse.
There was a small power station ahead, and when they reached it, he knew -- this was the place. Anakin's fear and anger and a flash of betrayal hung in the air like a dingy cloud. He gathered as much of it as he could, sweeping around himself with the Force. There were images there, and emotions... but he was too flustered, in too much pain, and he couldn't focus. They began to slip away, to slip through his fingers. He reached out, but the Force seemed to evade him suddenly, backing away, abandoning him.
He ignited his saber and slashed at the power station housing in frustration, screaming, his head pounding. Then he was suddenly hit hard in the chest, and pinned to the ground, face down. He struggled to breathe.
"Obi-Wan, stop!" Siri's voice was heavy, commanding. She must have Force-pushed him, he thought, in order to knock him off his feet from a safe distance. His anger spiked again, and he broke free of the invisible restraints she'd created with surprising ease, feeling the Force fill him easily now. He climbed to his feet and called his saber to his hand, glaring darkly at her. She flinched and stepped back, clearly frightened. Then she stepped forward again, and then again, and again. And slapped him hard across the face.
"Come to your fucking senses, Obi-Wan! Do not lose it now. You are not helping them this way. I need you here, with me, now!" Her eyes were flashing blue, and her face flamed. Her hair stuck out in strange directions. She looked a little crazy.
Obi-Wan swallowed hard, slowly realizing what had just happened to him -- how close he'd come. He couldn't lose himself, not now. They would never find the padawans if he didn't pull himself together.
"Obi-Wan, answer me!" Siri stepped forward, hand raised, ready to slap him again. Her other hand gripped her lightsaber firmly, just in case.
Just in case...
He dropped to his knees at her feet and pressed his forehead into her stomach. The emotion rose hard in his throat, and he couldn't stop it, couldn't push it back down. It demanded release, and it was more than he could manage by himself -- more than he could bear. He sobbed into Siri's bare abdomen, smearing hot tears on her smooth skin. His hands grasped at her hips, trying to find purchase on the slick leather. His breath hitched in his chest. He screamed again, the sound muffled against her damp skin.
Siri pulled him against her body tightly, stroking his hair, breathing deeply. Her emotions were ragged now, and hearing and feeling his despair finally pulled her over the edge as well. She fell to her knees, and they wrapped their arms around each other, crying together, clinging to each other tightly.
After a minute or two, each began to regain control. Obi-Wan pushed away first, sitting back on his heels and wiping his face on his tunic. He felt much more even now, and the Force was easier to touch. He extended again, sweeping the area, sieving fragments of emotion from the wind. He had lost much of it already, and what was left did not make sense.
He opened his eyes to see Siri wiping her face with her hands. He tried to center himself before speaking. "I can only pick out a few feelings and images, but something happened to them very suddenly. I think they were surprised."
Siri took a shaky breath. "Do you think they're alive?"
"Yes, I do. I can't explain it."
"But he's gone," Siri whimpered, hand caressing her forehead. "There's nothing where he used to be." She looked up at Obi-Wan. "It must be ten times worse for you. I know that your bond with Anakin was very strong."
Obi-Wan could only nod, wincing at her use of past tense. "Yes. Anakin isn't just a presence in the Force. He's a fucking beacon. I feel a bit like someone's turned off all the lights." He sighed, pressing the heels of his hands against his temples. "My head is splitting. Siri, I know what it feels like when someone dies, and it doesn't feel like this. I'm sure they're alive. They must have been cut off from the Force somehow. That's the only explanation."
"Then they can't be far away." The determination in her voice was a familiar, steadying force. Siri was on her feet, scanning the area.
Obi-Wan climbed to his feet a little more slowly, feeling surprisingly drained. He closed his eyes and centered himself once more before jogging to catch up with Siri. They quickly searched the immediate area, but found nothing. There was no trace of their padawans at all. Siri leaned heavily against a tree.
"Obi-Wan... we should inform the ambassador, and the Council. We're going to need help." She slid to the ground, wincing.
Obi-Wan wondered if she was in the same shape he was. He was barely functioning, in tremendous pain, and completely exhausted. He extended a hand to pull her to her feet. She stumbled slightly and he caught her. They leaned against each other for a moment, pressing their foreheads together.
"To the ambassador's office," Obi-Wan whispered hoarsely, gathering his strength. They could not appear this disheveled before a representative of the Republic.
***********************************
Author:
emmagrant01Rating: R for language
Summary: Obi and Siri react to what happened at the end of part 10
Disclaimer: Lucas and Watson, blah, blah.
Notes: This seems like a bad time to post, but every time I check, LJ seems to be doing a little better...
*******************************
Obi-Wan's teacup shattered as it hit the floor, sending droplets of warm liquid in every direction. He crumpled forward, falling off of the sofa, holding his head in his hands and crying out sharply.
First, he'd felt a sense of growing anxiety, then a stab of panic and anger, and then... nothing. Absolutely nothing was there in that place in his brain that was always aware of Anakin. He always felt Anakin there, sometimes as a buzz under his thoughts, sometimes as waves of unpredictable and inexplicable emotion, sometimes in directed thoughts that were so loud they made his head hurt. But now it was gone. There was nothing.
His vision was blurry and his ears rang. He pushed himself up on his hands and knees. His brain buzzed from the pain and confusion, and he had difficulty forming coherent thoughts. He took a deep breath, reaching out to the Force, trying to feel for his padawan.
It hurt. He doubled over anew in pain, clutching his head, pressing hard on his temples. He let go and the pain started to fade. His first lucid thought was that something had happened to Anakin. Something terrible had happened to the child who was his responsibility, whom he was supposed to teach and protect.
Panic set in, and the flare in his emotions eased the pain in his head unexpectedly. He let them flow a little more strongly. No, that wasn't right -- he shouldn't do that.
Pull yourself together. You're of no help to him in this state. The pain of the training bond being so abruptly broken was slowly fading from a sharp stabbing sensation to a more tolerable pounding ache in his temple. He took several deep breaths and opened his eyes. Siri was staring at him, pale and wide-eyed. She looked as if she might throw up.
It took two attempts before his voice obeyed his command to speak. "Can you feel Ferus?"
"No."
"I can't feel Anakin at all. He's just... gone."
Gone!
Why the fuck was he still sitting here? He leapt to his feet and headed for the door. He didn't have to look to see that Siri was right behind him. They headed towards the gardens and were inexorably drawn in one direction. The eddies of the Force had been greatly disturbed somewhere nearby, and they could see it, feel it, hear it. The very emptiness in the Force where there had once been two Jedi screamed loudly in their ears. They ran, drawn to the same place.
Obi-Wan's mind stormed as he ran, unbalanced by the loss of the bond. What had happened? He had never felt, or even heard of anything like this before. Was Anakin hurt? Was he dead?
That thought brought on nausea almost instantly, which made him stumble slightly. He steeled his stomach and forced it back down. Not now.
Anakin couldn't be dead, could he? Obi-Wan had experienced a bond broken by death -- when Qui-Gon died -- but it had just faded gradually. It had not been severed like this. He remembered the feeling of it slipping away, like smoke through his fingers, like a dream that fades when one first wakes. It was horrible and devastating and one of the worst moments in his life.
He began to realize that this was worse.
There was a small power station ahead, and when they reached it, he knew -- this was the place. Anakin's fear and anger and a flash of betrayal hung in the air like a dingy cloud. He gathered as much of it as he could, sweeping around himself with the Force. There were images there, and emotions... but he was too flustered, in too much pain, and he couldn't focus. They began to slip away, to slip through his fingers. He reached out, but the Force seemed to evade him suddenly, backing away, abandoning him.
He ignited his saber and slashed at the power station housing in frustration, screaming, his head pounding. Then he was suddenly hit hard in the chest, and pinned to the ground, face down. He struggled to breathe.
"Obi-Wan, stop!" Siri's voice was heavy, commanding. She must have Force-pushed him, he thought, in order to knock him off his feet from a safe distance. His anger spiked again, and he broke free of the invisible restraints she'd created with surprising ease, feeling the Force fill him easily now. He climbed to his feet and called his saber to his hand, glaring darkly at her. She flinched and stepped back, clearly frightened. Then she stepped forward again, and then again, and again. And slapped him hard across the face.
"Come to your fucking senses, Obi-Wan! Do not lose it now. You are not helping them this way. I need you here, with me, now!" Her eyes were flashing blue, and her face flamed. Her hair stuck out in strange directions. She looked a little crazy.
Obi-Wan swallowed hard, slowly realizing what had just happened to him -- how close he'd come. He couldn't lose himself, not now. They would never find the padawans if he didn't pull himself together.
"Obi-Wan, answer me!" Siri stepped forward, hand raised, ready to slap him again. Her other hand gripped her lightsaber firmly, just in case.
Just in case...
He dropped to his knees at her feet and pressed his forehead into her stomach. The emotion rose hard in his throat, and he couldn't stop it, couldn't push it back down. It demanded release, and it was more than he could manage by himself -- more than he could bear. He sobbed into Siri's bare abdomen, smearing hot tears on her smooth skin. His hands grasped at her hips, trying to find purchase on the slick leather. His breath hitched in his chest. He screamed again, the sound muffled against her damp skin.
Siri pulled him against her body tightly, stroking his hair, breathing deeply. Her emotions were ragged now, and hearing and feeling his despair finally pulled her over the edge as well. She fell to her knees, and they wrapped their arms around each other, crying together, clinging to each other tightly.
After a minute or two, each began to regain control. Obi-Wan pushed away first, sitting back on his heels and wiping his face on his tunic. He felt much more even now, and the Force was easier to touch. He extended again, sweeping the area, sieving fragments of emotion from the wind. He had lost much of it already, and what was left did not make sense.
He opened his eyes to see Siri wiping her face with her hands. He tried to center himself before speaking. "I can only pick out a few feelings and images, but something happened to them very suddenly. I think they were surprised."
Siri took a shaky breath. "Do you think they're alive?"
"Yes, I do. I can't explain it."
"But he's gone," Siri whimpered, hand caressing her forehead. "There's nothing where he used to be." She looked up at Obi-Wan. "It must be ten times worse for you. I know that your bond with Anakin was very strong."
Obi-Wan could only nod, wincing at her use of past tense. "Yes. Anakin isn't just a presence in the Force. He's a fucking beacon. I feel a bit like someone's turned off all the lights." He sighed, pressing the heels of his hands against his temples. "My head is splitting. Siri, I know what it feels like when someone dies, and it doesn't feel like this. I'm sure they're alive. They must have been cut off from the Force somehow. That's the only explanation."
"Then they can't be far away." The determination in her voice was a familiar, steadying force. Siri was on her feet, scanning the area.
Obi-Wan climbed to his feet a little more slowly, feeling surprisingly drained. He closed his eyes and centered himself once more before jogging to catch up with Siri. They quickly searched the immediate area, but found nothing. There was no trace of their padawans at all. Siri leaned heavily against a tree.
"Obi-Wan... we should inform the ambassador, and the Council. We're going to need help." She slid to the ground, wincing.
Obi-Wan wondered if she was in the same shape he was. He was barely functioning, in tremendous pain, and completely exhausted. He extended a hand to pull her to her feet. She stumbled slightly and he caught her. They leaned against each other for a moment, pressing their foreheads together.
"To the ambassador's office," Obi-Wan whispered hoarsely, gathering his strength. They could not appear this disheveled before a representative of the Republic.
***********************************
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-02-20 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-20 10:37 pm (UTC)Personally, I'm of the interpretation that Obi-Wan almost loves Anakin too much, or is too attached in a non-objective properly Masterly way.
Yes, I like that as well, for many reasons, not the least of which is that it makes what happens between them later that much more tragic.
Re:
Date: 2003-02-21 07:16 am (UTC)