FIC: The Bodyguard (8/8)

[emmagrant01]

The conclusion...

Title: The Bodyguard
Author: Emma Grant
Rating: NC-17
Fandom/Pairing: Star Wars Prequels, Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan
Summary: A slaver, a bodyguard, a Jedi, and a secret. Just add sex.
Category: adventure, Q/O, first time
Archive: MA and my site, others please ask first
Warnings: Some violence and non-consensual sex. Spoilers for the Jedi Apprentice books.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, no harm done, no money made.

Links: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Read the author notes!

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Comments

Feedback for The Bodyguard... spoiler for talk of the story's plot!

[jane-sehrn-ta.livejournal.com]

A spoiler here for talk of the plot - if you haven't read The Bodyguard yet, go read it! :)

G'day Emma!

Sorry it took me a while to get round to leaving feedback on your great story, but here I am :). I hope I am not going to qualify myself for the "reader from hell" award of the week, but I confess that I skimmed (although that might suggest too comprehensive a reading) the first part and half of the second part of your story. I confess I first go looking for mention of Qui and Obi in a story, and at first I didn't see any evidence of that (my bad!). Anyway, I suddenly got pulled in hook, line and sinker at some point round about when Erat is asked by C'Lon to look after the Jedi children.

It's somewhat of a cliche in many archive stories that Obi-Wan in this sensitive, caring guy (well okay, he probably is), so it didn't take me long to figure out that if the kids were responding well, then Erat was Force sensitive and was probably sending out good "vibes", and it was not much longer before I figured out that he was in fact Obi-Wan. Okay, I should have gone back and read from the start, but I didn't (confesses guiltily). I WILL do that. So interestingly, I didn't know about the "story" that Erat provided to C'Lon (and still don't, consequently). I figured he was either undercover, or this was an AU where he was not a Jedi but a Force sensitive. As soon as Qui-Gon showed up though, it didn't take me too long to figure out that it must have been undercover - there just seemed to be too much of a rapport between them. It's a credit to your writing that I could weave together all the parts of the story, considering I came in after the introduction.

C'Lon was certainly a fascinating character, and became more so as the story progressed. She's a brilliant creation and I wouldn't mind seeing more of her. To tie in with your notes, I can't imagine anyone could see her as a Mary-Sue, she was so much more than that. One thing that impressed me very early was her developing empathy for Erat. Originally she was of the view that if he wanted to go along with the children and possibly get toasted, then so be it - it was his choice. But then as the story went on, he really brought out the best in her. I liked, as per some of your comments on list that she was not totally bad. She wouldn't have hesitated to gun down one of her crew in some cases but it was clear she had developed an empathy for Obi-Wan fairly early on. When she said she would protect him from other people finding out about his (fabricated) history as a Jedi washout, I found myself really liking her.

Your development of Erat was commendable, as was his responses to the changing situations as the story progressed. Qui-Gon, on the other hand, frequently annoyed me, especially once they were back in Master/Padawan roles. Now this may well have been your intention, as Qui-Gon can be stubborn and single-minded. I found him incredibly childish when he engaged in mind-blowing sex and then (me thinketh the man doth protest too much!) went out of his way to avoid taking responsibility for the same. In that sense, in your story, Obi-Wan seemed a much more mature character. I could see Qui-Gon making an issue of "I didn't consent to it", to make a point as a teacher, but really it was the ultimate hypocrisy on his part. I guess some might see "canon" Qui-Gon as a hypocrite, but I like to use your analogy of there's no black and white, only endless shades of grey. The time he gave Obi-Wan the silent treatment on the transport seemed incredibly childish. Maybe this is what you were going for, but I wanted to hit Qui-Gon with the "clue-by-four" frequently!

The whole scene with the Judicials and the Jedi facing the dark Jedi was in turns breathtaking and poignant. Boy did I feel the pain when the children had to admit that they'd been instructed to kill their Master. I really liked Obi-Wan's musings on this situation as well as questioning the wisdom of training twins. He is incredibly empathic.

Re: Feedback for The Bodyguard... spoiler for talk of the story's plot!

[jane-sehrn-ta.livejournal.com]

Part two... I obviously commented too much, according to livejournal :)...

I really liked that C'Lon finally got to straighten out Qui-Gon a bit. I was still kind of hoping that she'd punch him for being so clueless :), but I guess that would have put paid to her chances of a minimum sentence. Her back story made total sense to me. As people we often make bad choices, but I do like that she was able to redeem herself somewhat.

I must get around to reading Terri Hamill's story that inspired you. On your part, I want to commend you on a well-plotted and well-paced story. Your writing style is great, and I fully intend to re-read this story when I have more time to spare - to enjoy the nuances of the plot. I promise to get back to you with any other thoughts at that time, but wanted to say I'm glad that you finished this fic and thank you for sharing it with us. Congratulations - it's great!

All the best,
Jane