Parenting vs. fandom...

[emmagrant01]

Okay, how do you do it, you folks out there with young children who manage to remain active in fandom?

Seriously -- BG is sleeping on my chest now and I have answered work-related emails and scanned posts in my parenting groups, and now finally have some time to read my flst. At least until he wakes up, which could be any moment now.

I have no idea when I will have time enough to myself to write again. :-P

Comments

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

ahahahaha why do you think I love it when school starts?

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

But that's YEARS away...

Heh. Not that he isn't more important. :-)

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

I know. I started fandom when Jayne was three...and she was able to play on her own and be in preschool a couple of hours a day. :)

[pombagira.livejournal.com]

i figure that fandom will understand if your attendance is somewhat sporadic for a few years, babies take up quite a bit of time, and BG is what around six-eight? months or so old now, so while he has pretty much settled into a routine of sorts there is a whole lot less time to squeeze your other interests into. like you said one you have answered your work related emails, scanned posts of your parenting groups you have about three minutes of down time until BG wakes and the whole feeding changing burping playing starts again. i guess what i am trying to say is that we will still be here for when you have the time to come back, we will still love your writing, (well i do and i am sure that many other do as well).. enjoy this fist few years of BG as he goes from aww baby to aww toddler with the occasional ohhh fandom .. whee.. cause believe it or not it will go quite quickly, and us old fandom fogies will be around for quite some time yet.. mmk...


*beams*

[gmth.livejournal.com]

Heh, this is why I didn't really get into online fandom until my son was 3. No time.

Enjoy him now. I'm sure he's way more fun than us anyhow. :-)

[lafiammatabella.livejournal.com]

When I had mine I really wasn't active until the girls slept in bigger chunks. Even then it was sporadic because there's always something else to do, pumping, tidying, dinner and if you're lucky a nap for yourself :D Sometimes what I would do is have "me time" where I'd leave the girls with my husband and just get out and have some coffee or whatever and focus on my fandom interests then. In the meantime enjoy BG and we'll be here when you get back.

[dark0feenix.livejournal.com]

That's something I've often wondered myself. Since I don't have kids, there should be plenty of time for fandom but somehow it feels there never is. Can't even imagine how busy the days must be with a baby.

[myrafur.livejournal.com]

Nerp, it's virtually impossible.

You can produce work when they sleep at night, and surf when they nap.

I've spoiled mine completely rotten, and let them sleep on me, (as babies,) so they sleep longer.

More sleep = more internet for Mama >D

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Do you wear BG? Baby slings are good things in keeping babies calm and happy.

[scrtkpr.livejournal.com]

I would like to give this question a thoughtful answer. If I didn't have kids, maybe I would actually have time to do so! LOL

Basically, when I was managing to write at all, I was staying up late and not sleeping enough. It was bad for my health, and I haven't actually found time to write anything in several months. I haven't found time to reply to nearly as many of the posts that I would have liked to, and I'm pathetically behind on replying to emails and comments. I figure I'll keep up with what I can, and I'll probably catch up one of these days. And I'm going to make myself write at least...one thing a year, lol. Surely I can carve out the time again somewhere, eventually.

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

As you can pretty much tell, I didn't write much if anything from the time Harry stopped having regular naps (summer of 2001) until...

Well, I've never started writing again. I do vid, but I didn't start doing that until Cate was in school five days a week and I could sneak the time out.

The way I managed to stay involved with fandom is because of my handheld - first a Palm Pilot on which I loaded fanfic that I could rread in random moments of downtime, then on a sidekick and now on the iPhone. I read if I have insomnia, I read once they're in bed and I'm sitting in a darkened room until they're totally asleep, I read while I'm sitting in a parked car in front of the school waiting for pickup and now I can even read while they're playing (as they are older and more independent).

If you don't have to sit down in a specific location to deal with email and reading the flist, etc. then you can take advantage of the time you can sit down in a specific location to write - or type in what you've scribbled in a notebook while you were in the playroom or something.

[slashpervert.livejournal.com]

Doing anything else in the first couple years can be difficult. Babies/toddlers needs so very much and we have only that one window of time to give them that kind of attention. I remember being exhausted all the time. But now I look back on it wish such fondness. Some of our best times, when we really set the foundation for our trust, was when I would be up playing with an infant at four in the morning even when I had a class to teach that morning.

One weird way to connect would be to read aloud. I was a graduate student in a social science program when mine was small and used to read my texts aloud to my infant. The baby liked the attention and I still got my reading done. It didn't matter that he didn't understand the words because he loved the sound of my voice.

As someone else points out, it gets easier when they get older. My son at twelve is fascinated by my fan involvement and has been known to sit with his laptop in my room, writing his own fanfic while I write mine.

[eskimosatan.livejournal.com]

I have a seven month old who refuses the bottle, so I completely understand. It's not at all easy to find time. What I've started doing is keeping my Spawn on a tight schedule. He takes two naps through the day, between twelve and one and against at around four. Then, I put him in bed at 8, whether he likes it or not. I'll get work related things done during his naps, which last about half an hour to an hour and then I take two hours after he's gone to sleep to do whatever I want. Mostly that's writing and reading, although the Husband is horrible and bought me a game called Spore that I really really need to put aside. I'll hit bed at around 11, wake up to feed him at about 2 or 3, then go back to sleep until he wakes up for good at around 6 or 7. I get a total of about 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, which is usually good for me. On the weekends, the Husband wakes up Saturday morning to give me a few extra hours of sleep.

In fact, he's just waking up from his nap now so I have to rush over. Pardon any spelling errors and good luck!

[owens-mom.livejournal.com]

I learned to read fic really fast, while he was busy or napping. Then he went to preschool and I started writing. Then his sister came along and now I speed read my flist and only read fic I really really really want to read, that has come recommended by my friends.

[monkeyshine4616.livejournal.com]

I have two and the only time I manage to do anything is in between death threats and pulling them out of things (like the fridge, pantry, and cabinet under the sink). :P

Actually, I wait until hubby gets home and takes them to bed. He plays with them for about an hour before we go to sleep. So that's when I do stuff besides check my f-list.

[deadcat-vagrant.livejournal.com]

*looks at three year old and six month old* I just got back into writing last month after a near-two year hiatus. It wasn't caused by my children, sadly enough, so much as a lot of other crap going on.

However, now that I am writing with two small children running/crawling around? I wait until everyone's in bed and sacrifice some sleep. Sometimes I can write when the kids are playing quietly, but the really intense stuff I have to be alone for. The mate's kind enough to give me some writing time once a week or so, so I can get six-hour jags in without sleep loss, but for the most part? Give up sleep. *G*

[karaz.livejournal.com]

Much easier when the you're done nursing and/or sleep times get extended! Until then, it's pretty sporadic.

[luredbyvenus.livejournal.com]

I learned to type one handed while I nursed and decided that fun was more important than sleep. It does get easier as they get older.

My first baby wasn't a good sleeper, so I didn't get much done for the first two years of her life. My sling was a life saver, it's the only reason I ever got anything done. I wore her until she was three and I got pregnant again.

I also dropped my parenting groups for fandom. :D I was on child number two by the time I found H/D, so I didn't need that support system any more, and yay, I chose porn. ;) Now I'm lucky enough to have a fandom parenting group, so I get it all.

[ms-mindfunk.livejournal.com]

When I was a sahm, I would have "me time" after I put them to bed. Those hours in between 8pm and when I managed to drag myself away and go to bed were filled with reading, writing and interacting with others. Once I went back to work, it became too hard to balance it all, and naturally the me time was the first to go.

Actually, I don't know how I did fandom when my youngest was a baby. I think I've blocked out all of that. :D It definitely is easier when they're a bit older, but with both a family and job responsibilities, the only way I get to do fandom is if I give up on sleep.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Is he on a regular nap schedule? You can squeeze it a bit here and there. I didn't start writing myself until my kids were well into school. He's only this little for such a short time. I just saw my daughter off to college this fall so enjoy the baby time. The writing can wait.

[bicrim.livejournal.com]

I don't know, maybe you will figure it out! I'm not a fandom writer, so reading was easier for me with one small baby, I just read while nursing. Nowadays, with a three year old and a newborn, it's harder, but I still can get my reading done. The challenge now is much more about finding the good fic than it is about finding time to read. I got into fandom while pregnant with number one, so I often wonder if I would have become a writer in fandom if I had started earlier.

[oconel]

The first months I remember I would type one-handed while she ate. Now, she sometimes play by herself, which leaves me time to get online (though not much), and I can get some time while she's sleeping.

[tildathebuilder.livejournal.com]

My first thought was aww how cute at BG asleep on your chest. Then i remembered that it might be very cute, but I spent a lot of time frustrated at never really doing anything properly.

When I'd just had my second my now bff had just had her first. On our second meeting she asked me when did I find the time to change my knickers? It's always stuck with me especially when i'm struggling.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is it's hard when they're tiny and I feel for you :)

[lilipsiquehd.livejournal.com]

When my son was a baby, I used to have time. I wrote a lot, cause he used to sleep then, even if it was 4 hours in a row. But since he's 2 (now he's almost 5), I can't. I work on the week, and at the weekend he wakes before me. And then we have to play, to go out, to read, to do homework... And the little time between I do home things.

I used to write a lot (I only write in portuguese), but now I just read. And usually I print to read while I'm going home, in the bus. I just try to write once in a year, for xmas exchanges, and I do some translations - what is easy, 'cause I don't need time to think in plots that way.

I guess that if you'll stay at home, when your baby grows older you'll have the time while he's at school.

And enjoy, 'cause they're so cute when babies!!!

[jedirita.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it! I'm jealous you even got to go to a Potter convention.

[nike-victory.livejournal.com]

I don't have kids, but I've taken enough writing courses with people who complain about not having enough time to write to have picked up some advice. One of the best ones is, if other people having a demand on your time is your biggest challenge, schedule yourself some writing time around that, whether it be getting up an hour before everyone else to write or random 5-10-15 minutes between meetings/classes or on a lunch break. Of course, you'll have to wait for BG to start adhering to a schedule first...