OMG so bored!

[emmagrant01]

I usually don't have time to get bored at work, but right now I am SO bored. I have to sit in this room for another half hour with NOTHING to do but wait.

So tell me a joke, please? Make me laugh? Tell me an interesting but true fact that I probably didn't know before?

*bats eyelashes*

Comments

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Wanna read some of the worst lines in SF books? They're really bad, but amusingly so :)

http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/Ansible/thog.html

[wendy.livejournal.com]

My senior year of high school, I placed second in a New Kids on the Block lipsynch contest.

(What?? I've always been obsessive!)

[karaz.livejournal.com]

You've probably already been, but this website amuses me to no end.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, those are FANTASTIC!!! If I ever feel even remote bad about my writing again, I will go and read those. Dang, that's as good as Summary Executions! :-D

Thanks!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

*grins* So what was the song?

[florahart]

Hm. No good jokes today, but I can tell you that when a 13 year old thinks you are bluffing about asking his school whether in FACT they don't allow him to eat lunch as he asserts as a reason not to make lunch in the morning, and then you discuss how this would be unreasonable and give him the opportunity to change his story, and he sticks to it very stubbornly and with exclaiming and certainty, and then you follow through and ask, using his words? Said 13 year old will be embarrassed beyond words that you OMG actually asked and blush and stammer at the school secretary and deny having ever said any such thing, which will cause said secretary to wink at you and there will be a moment of shared smirk.

...why no, I didn't go through anything like that this morning? Not at all. Why do you ask?

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow! Hours of entertainment there! Thanks!

[charlotteschaos.livejournal.com]

This isn't a joke, but it does show my favourite Jedi for how awesome he is.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oh, teenagers. *grins*

My mom has similar stories about my step-brothers. I was a little angel in comparison... ;-)

A Joke

[jameschick.livejournal.com]

The Hebert's were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to
arrive, Mr. Hebert kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang
the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to...."

Wife - "Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Hebert cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out!"

Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for my husband and me."

Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.

But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."

Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd
love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it."

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

Wife - "Oh my god!"

Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

Wife - "She was difficult?"

Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right People were crowding around four and five deep,
pushing to get a good look."

Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).

Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was
constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your ....
equipment?"

Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work"

Wife - "Tripod?"

Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's
fainted!"

[rolling-scone.livejournal.com]

I had a presentation about Gelada baboons quite some time ago, and I made my entire class imitate this picture:

[wendy.livejournal.com]

Sadly it was Last Night I Saw Santa Claus. (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Last-Night-I-Saw-Santa-Claus-lyrics-New-Kids-On-The-Block/12217D94CC6E2E54482568B90022BA18) I can still sing every word, btw.

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Is that one of the little joke scenes the ILM people put together? It's awsome!!! Where did you find it?

Re: A Joke

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU!!! That was great! :-D

"Don't I know it." Hee!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

That's a baboon? It's kinda hard to tell! :-D

[charlotteschaos.livejournal.com]

Haha I guess, I don't know what it's from. Ryan sent it to me a few minutes ago and I was like, "I must share this with Emma!" and coincidentally you were looking for entertainment ;)

[rolling-scone.livejournal.com]

yep. 'tis indeed. It's a very... erm... special kind though... it's a male and he's doing a 'flip lip' on this picture ;) (they're the kind that have red chests instead of bottoms because they live on the ground and sit all the time...)

a silly joke

[wintermoon3.livejournal.com]

two muffins are in the muffin pan in the oven. one turns to the other and says "it's getting hot in here, don't you think?"

the other says...






"OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!"

[furiosity.livejournal.com]

There are currently more transistors on the planet than there are ants.

[gmth.livejournal.com]

Have you seen this game? It was making the rounds a while back.

Another Joke

[jameschick.livejournal.com]

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on.
So he called upon one of His angels and sent the angel down to Earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down another angel down to get second opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline, 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being very good."

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because
He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said....???
>
Please scroll down
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> Okay, I was just wondering, I didn't get one either...!

[mrshamill.livejournal.com]

I told this one to my boss today, I'd thought everyone knew it but he didn't.

(Supposed true story)

A lady calls for technical support (outside her buildting) because her computer isn't working. The tech goes through the usuall first-level support (do you see any lights, do you hear any sounds, do you really know what an 'on-switch' is?) and finally asks the lady to check behind her computer. The lady says she can't.

"It's dark back there, I can't see."

"Then could you get a light to shine on it?"

"No, I can't." (testy)

"Is there another light you could use to see back there?"

"NO, there ISN'T, there are NO lights because the POWER IS OUT."

"OH! I see. Yes, I know exactly what the problem is. Do you still have the boxes everything came in?"

"Yes, they're in the closet. Why?"

"Good. Get them out and put the computer back into the boxes, just as they were when you bought them, and take them back."

"Gracious! Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"What do I tell them when I return it?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Re: a silly joke

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

LOL! That's a great kid joke!

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Ooooh. What about cockroaches, I wonder?

[emmagrant01.livejournal.com]

Oooh, no! I'll have to check that out when I can play the sound. ;-)