Another deleted scene!
Jun. 16th, 2004 12:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emmagrant01I have a handful of these, but I'm not sure if I'll post all of them. There are two in particular that might still make their way into the final version of LMH...
THIS scene, though, is definitely OUT! This was the original Harry/Colby first-time scene, from the night all the guys went back to Draco's place, and they all got a little drunk and high. Harry walked in on Draco having sex with one of the students Colby had brought, and then ended up getting dragged into the bedroom by Colby. Colby gave him a blow job, and then this was what came next:
Deleted scene #2:
"Turn over," Colby whispered, and Harry felt a surge of fear.
"I..." Harry began, stalling. "What about..."
"Relax, Derek, always keeps supplies handy." Colby stripped out of his clothes and rummaged through a drawer on the nightstand, pulling out a condom and a tube of lubricant.
Harry was glad the lighting was dim, because he was certain he was as pale as the duvet. He glanced down and saw Colby's erection jutting out comically. It wasn't all that big. He considered his options. He could say that he usually didn't "bottom". He could suddenly develop a migraine. He could offer to suck off Colby instead. Or, assuming that he was going to try this eventually anyway, he could... start small. So to speak.
He pushed his jeans down, toeing off his shoes in the process. "How do you want me to...?" He tried not to look flustered.
"Mmmmm," Colby said, grinning and starting to stroke himself. "Just bend over."
Harry tried not to grimace and draped himself over the edge of the bed, pressing his face into the duvet. What the fuck was he doing? He always ended up doing stupid things when he smoked pot. That was part of the reason why he quit in the first place.
He heard the tearing of the condom wrapper behind him, and started to get nervous. He knew enough to understand that being tense would not help this process. He felt Colby's latex-covered cock pressing against him, and he tensed even further.
Colby kissed between his shoulder blades. "You're not a bottom, are you?"
"No," Harry answered, truthfully.
"Don't worry," Colby whispered, kissing a trail down his spine. "I promise this will be good."
Harry didn't reply. He relaxed into the bedding a bit as Colby kissed him, but squirmed when Colby neared his ass.
"Ticklish?" Colby asked, biting lightly.
"Yes!" Harry yelped. Colby bit a few more times, then stood. After a second, Harry felt something cold and wet against his arsehole, and he had another moment of panic.
"Shhhhh," Colby said, stroking his back. "Just relax."
Just relax. Right. He felt something push into him, and realized it was one of Colby's fingers. He had a sudden flash of a memorable visit to the doctor's office, and almost laughed, until Colby rotated the finger and pulled it out. It felt exactly like he was having a bowel movement. Harry did laugh then. This had to be the most unsexy sex he'd ever had. The finger pushed back in, deeper this time, and pressed down, and Harry gasped.
Well.
Colby continued fucking him with one finger, and then two, and Harry was surprised to feel his erection returning. He felt a stab of guilt about possibly staining Malfoy's duvet.
The fingers disappeared, more lube was applied, and then it was Colby's cock pressed against his ass, pushing forward. Harry hissed against the sensation of his body being breached. This was a bad idea. Really, really bad.
"Push back," Colby whispered, and Harry did. It helped, and then Colby was inside him. It didn't really hurt so much as it felt... full. Colby started moving, slowly at first, and then speeding up the pace when he realized Harry was fine.
"You're so fucking tight," Colby panted.
I'm being fucked by another bloke, Harry thought. It wasn't bad. It felt kind of nice, but it wasn't going to be enough to make him come again. He tried to relax into the duvet.
A few minutes later, he started to wonder how long it was going to take. Colby was grunting as he pounded into him. Harry knew this was supposed to feel good, and wondered what exactly was wrong. He tried to push himself up into a more comfortable position, and saw a flash of something against the wall. He squinted, and slowly, a shape came into focus.
Malfoy was sitting on the floor, leaning against the far wall. He was using some sort of concealment spell, but they'd learned to see through those in auror training. Harry's eyes narrowed, and Malfoy grinned.
Harry wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered that Malfoy was watching. Deciding there wasn't much he could do about it anyway, he affected an expression of boredom and rolled his eyes. Malfoy held up his little finger. Harry nodded, grinning back.
Colby grunted more loudly then, and shuddered to a halt. Malfoy used his wand to draw "4.5" in sparkly writing in the air, and Harry stifled a snort.
"Mmmm, Harry," Colby said, collapsing against him and kissing the back of his neck. He withdrew, and Harry felt oddly empty -- physically and emotionally. He shot one more glance at Malfoy before standing and stretching.
Harry pulled Colby into a brief kiss. "Thanks," he said. "That was great." It wasn't, but people typically lied about sex when it didn't really matter -- in Harry's experience, at least.
They redressed, and Harry told Colby he was going to clean himself up in the bathroom. Colby kissed him again and left, glowing. Harry turned toward Malfoy, who applauded quietly.
"Well, what did you think?" he asked.
Harry squinted, hoping it masked the fact that he was very embarrassed about all of this. "I think it's supposed to be better than that. At least, I hope so."
Malfoy nodded an exaggerated yes. "You do realize you'll have Colby hanging all over you for the next week?" Malfoy asked, straightening Harry's shirt. "If you don't intend to fuck him again, you should tell them so straight away. He's a bit clingy."
"So I've noticed," Harry quipped.
"Speaking of clingy, I do like this shirt on you. If I give it to you, will you promise to wear as frequently as possible?"
"Of course," Harry smiled.
Malfoy kissed him lightly and pushed him towards the door. "Go on, then. I have to make an unobtrusive entrance."
+++++
Harry spent the rest of the night slowly sobering up while everyone around him continued to get more and more plastered. The only other person who wasn't drinking was Manny. He left around midnight, nodding at Harry as he slipped out the door.
Harry glanced around the room. Malfoy was sprawled on the sofa, making out with the other student, and Colby was deep in conversation with the one Malfoy had already had. Colby hadn't talked to Harry since they'd come out of the bedroom, to his relief. He wasn't sure what to say. He had no idea how he should feel, either.
At 1:00, Malfoy had passed out, and Jeremy and his friend had left. Colby was saying something about going clubbing, so Harry called a cab. Colby brightened when Harry suggested he take the boys home with him instead.
Harry walked them all downstairs, trying in vain to keep them quiet. He made certain they actually had enough money to pay before putting them in the cab, and then helped translate for the driver, who could barely understand English, let alone the drunken slurred variety.
He went back up to the flat to see Malfoy stretched out on the sofa, asleep. He thought of leaving him there, but decided instead to get him to bed. Malfoy was barely aware of where he was or who he was with, which frightened Harry immensely, as it didn't seem productive behavior for a person in hiding. He got most of Malfoy's clothes off and tucked him under the duvet, then sat next to him on the bed for a while.
Harry sighed, wondering what the hell had happened tonight. Twenty-four hours earlier, he'd been reeling from a kiss, and now... What had possessed him to have sex with a man he barely knew? He'd done it partly to make Malfoy jealous, of course. But it hadn't worked. Malfoy had taken it completely in stride, and it was more clear than ever that he wasn't interested in anything more substantial than sex with Harry. Harry wasn't certain what *he* wanted either, but he was having a hard time imagining himself as just another notch on Malfoy's bedpost. He knew he wanted more than that, at the very least.
Malfoy appreciated his company, of course, but he didn't trust Harry any more than he trusted Colby, or Jeremy, or Manny. Harry still hadn't learned anything about Malfoy's life in New York. And if Hermione was right, time was running out.
He pressed a kiss to Malfoy's forehead before closing the bedroom door and curling up on the sofa. He put the television on CNN with the sound off, and tried to go to sleep.
More notes: I think all three of my betas read this and had the same reaction of "Whoa! Harry went from thinking he was straight to bottoming for Colby in a matter of days?" They were right, of course.
What I was going for there was a realistic first-time scenario. You don't see a lot of bad sex in fanfic, so I'd decided to write some! It was intended to be funny and uncomfortable. Re-reading it now, I think I may have accomplished the uncomfortable part...
But I realized that it was OOC for my Harry to do this. He isn't that reckless, and he wouldn't just give himself to Colby so quickly. He wasn't that stoned! I was just thinking about and starting to play with the trust themes then, and I decided that Harry would probably have trust issues about bottoming. Then I realized that there was someone else who really deserved to be Harry's first for that, and that's something that I'm saving for the sequel! ;-)
Something else you see here that's different from the "final" version is what happens after the sex scene. Malfoy doesn't disappear right afterwards, but talks to Harry, and Manny leaves without having had much of an impact on the scene. After I changed the sex scene to something Harry was more comfortable with, I started playing around with Manny's role. I decided that Manny would start getting suspicious of Harry's motives after watching Harry go off with Colby. What you don't see in the "finished" version (since it's from Harry's POV) is that Draco is immediately suspicious of Colby when he sees Colby pull Harry away. Draco drags Manny into the bathroom with him as a cover so he can pop into the bedroom and see what's going on. He pops back and he and Manny actually have a little argument about whether or not Harry and Colby are cooperating. Manny starts asking Harry questions after that, and later Harry walks in on the two of them fighting. So you see, changing the sex scene allowed all of these other bits of the story to start to fall into place! Cool, huh?
THIS scene, though, is definitely OUT! This was the original Harry/Colby first-time scene, from the night all the guys went back to Draco's place, and they all got a little drunk and high. Harry walked in on Draco having sex with one of the students Colby had brought, and then ended up getting dragged into the bedroom by Colby. Colby gave him a blow job, and then this was what came next:
Deleted scene #2:
"Turn over," Colby whispered, and Harry felt a surge of fear.
"I..." Harry began, stalling. "What about..."
"Relax, Derek, always keeps supplies handy." Colby stripped out of his clothes and rummaged through a drawer on the nightstand, pulling out a condom and a tube of lubricant.
Harry was glad the lighting was dim, because he was certain he was as pale as the duvet. He glanced down and saw Colby's erection jutting out comically. It wasn't all that big. He considered his options. He could say that he usually didn't "bottom". He could suddenly develop a migraine. He could offer to suck off Colby instead. Or, assuming that he was going to try this eventually anyway, he could... start small. So to speak.
He pushed his jeans down, toeing off his shoes in the process. "How do you want me to...?" He tried not to look flustered.
"Mmmmm," Colby said, grinning and starting to stroke himself. "Just bend over."
Harry tried not to grimace and draped himself over the edge of the bed, pressing his face into the duvet. What the fuck was he doing? He always ended up doing stupid things when he smoked pot. That was part of the reason why he quit in the first place.
He heard the tearing of the condom wrapper behind him, and started to get nervous. He knew enough to understand that being tense would not help this process. He felt Colby's latex-covered cock pressing against him, and he tensed even further.
Colby kissed between his shoulder blades. "You're not a bottom, are you?"
"No," Harry answered, truthfully.
"Don't worry," Colby whispered, kissing a trail down his spine. "I promise this will be good."
Harry didn't reply. He relaxed into the bedding a bit as Colby kissed him, but squirmed when Colby neared his ass.
"Ticklish?" Colby asked, biting lightly.
"Yes!" Harry yelped. Colby bit a few more times, then stood. After a second, Harry felt something cold and wet against his arsehole, and he had another moment of panic.
"Shhhhh," Colby said, stroking his back. "Just relax."
Just relax. Right. He felt something push into him, and realized it was one of Colby's fingers. He had a sudden flash of a memorable visit to the doctor's office, and almost laughed, until Colby rotated the finger and pulled it out. It felt exactly like he was having a bowel movement. Harry did laugh then. This had to be the most unsexy sex he'd ever had. The finger pushed back in, deeper this time, and pressed down, and Harry gasped.
Well.
Colby continued fucking him with one finger, and then two, and Harry was surprised to feel his erection returning. He felt a stab of guilt about possibly staining Malfoy's duvet.
The fingers disappeared, more lube was applied, and then it was Colby's cock pressed against his ass, pushing forward. Harry hissed against the sensation of his body being breached. This was a bad idea. Really, really bad.
"Push back," Colby whispered, and Harry did. It helped, and then Colby was inside him. It didn't really hurt so much as it felt... full. Colby started moving, slowly at first, and then speeding up the pace when he realized Harry was fine.
"You're so fucking tight," Colby panted.
I'm being fucked by another bloke, Harry thought. It wasn't bad. It felt kind of nice, but it wasn't going to be enough to make him come again. He tried to relax into the duvet.
A few minutes later, he started to wonder how long it was going to take. Colby was grunting as he pounded into him. Harry knew this was supposed to feel good, and wondered what exactly was wrong. He tried to push himself up into a more comfortable position, and saw a flash of something against the wall. He squinted, and slowly, a shape came into focus.
Malfoy was sitting on the floor, leaning against the far wall. He was using some sort of concealment spell, but they'd learned to see through those in auror training. Harry's eyes narrowed, and Malfoy grinned.
Harry wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered that Malfoy was watching. Deciding there wasn't much he could do about it anyway, he affected an expression of boredom and rolled his eyes. Malfoy held up his little finger. Harry nodded, grinning back.
Colby grunted more loudly then, and shuddered to a halt. Malfoy used his wand to draw "4.5" in sparkly writing in the air, and Harry stifled a snort.
"Mmmm, Harry," Colby said, collapsing against him and kissing the back of his neck. He withdrew, and Harry felt oddly empty -- physically and emotionally. He shot one more glance at Malfoy before standing and stretching.
Harry pulled Colby into a brief kiss. "Thanks," he said. "That was great." It wasn't, but people typically lied about sex when it didn't really matter -- in Harry's experience, at least.
They redressed, and Harry told Colby he was going to clean himself up in the bathroom. Colby kissed him again and left, glowing. Harry turned toward Malfoy, who applauded quietly.
"Well, what did you think?" he asked.
Harry squinted, hoping it masked the fact that he was very embarrassed about all of this. "I think it's supposed to be better than that. At least, I hope so."
Malfoy nodded an exaggerated yes. "You do realize you'll have Colby hanging all over you for the next week?" Malfoy asked, straightening Harry's shirt. "If you don't intend to fuck him again, you should tell them so straight away. He's a bit clingy."
"So I've noticed," Harry quipped.
"Speaking of clingy, I do like this shirt on you. If I give it to you, will you promise to wear as frequently as possible?"
"Of course," Harry smiled.
Malfoy kissed him lightly and pushed him towards the door. "Go on, then. I have to make an unobtrusive entrance."
+++++
Harry spent the rest of the night slowly sobering up while everyone around him continued to get more and more plastered. The only other person who wasn't drinking was Manny. He left around midnight, nodding at Harry as he slipped out the door.
Harry glanced around the room. Malfoy was sprawled on the sofa, making out with the other student, and Colby was deep in conversation with the one Malfoy had already had. Colby hadn't talked to Harry since they'd come out of the bedroom, to his relief. He wasn't sure what to say. He had no idea how he should feel, either.
At 1:00, Malfoy had passed out, and Jeremy and his friend had left. Colby was saying something about going clubbing, so Harry called a cab. Colby brightened when Harry suggested he take the boys home with him instead.
Harry walked them all downstairs, trying in vain to keep them quiet. He made certain they actually had enough money to pay before putting them in the cab, and then helped translate for the driver, who could barely understand English, let alone the drunken slurred variety.
He went back up to the flat to see Malfoy stretched out on the sofa, asleep. He thought of leaving him there, but decided instead to get him to bed. Malfoy was barely aware of where he was or who he was with, which frightened Harry immensely, as it didn't seem productive behavior for a person in hiding. He got most of Malfoy's clothes off and tucked him under the duvet, then sat next to him on the bed for a while.
Harry sighed, wondering what the hell had happened tonight. Twenty-four hours earlier, he'd been reeling from a kiss, and now... What had possessed him to have sex with a man he barely knew? He'd done it partly to make Malfoy jealous, of course. But it hadn't worked. Malfoy had taken it completely in stride, and it was more clear than ever that he wasn't interested in anything more substantial than sex with Harry. Harry wasn't certain what *he* wanted either, but he was having a hard time imagining himself as just another notch on Malfoy's bedpost. He knew he wanted more than that, at the very least.
Malfoy appreciated his company, of course, but he didn't trust Harry any more than he trusted Colby, or Jeremy, or Manny. Harry still hadn't learned anything about Malfoy's life in New York. And if Hermione was right, time was running out.
He pressed a kiss to Malfoy's forehead before closing the bedroom door and curling up on the sofa. He put the television on CNN with the sound off, and tried to go to sleep.
More notes: I think all three of my betas read this and had the same reaction of "Whoa! Harry went from thinking he was straight to bottoming for Colby in a matter of days?" They were right, of course.
What I was going for there was a realistic first-time scenario. You don't see a lot of bad sex in fanfic, so I'd decided to write some! It was intended to be funny and uncomfortable. Re-reading it now, I think I may have accomplished the uncomfortable part...
But I realized that it was OOC for my Harry to do this. He isn't that reckless, and he wouldn't just give himself to Colby so quickly. He wasn't that stoned! I was just thinking about and starting to play with the trust themes then, and I decided that Harry would probably have trust issues about bottoming. Then I realized that there was someone else who really deserved to be Harry's first for that, and that's something that I'm saving for the sequel! ;-)
Something else you see here that's different from the "final" version is what happens after the sex scene. Malfoy doesn't disappear right afterwards, but talks to Harry, and Manny leaves without having had much of an impact on the scene. After I changed the sex scene to something Harry was more comfortable with, I started playing around with Manny's role. I decided that Manny would start getting suspicious of Harry's motives after watching Harry go off with Colby. What you don't see in the "finished" version (since it's from Harry's POV) is that Draco is immediately suspicious of Colby when he sees Colby pull Harry away. Draco drags Manny into the bathroom with him as a cover so he can pop into the bedroom and see what's going on. He pops back and he and Manny actually have a little argument about whether or not Harry and Colby are cooperating. Manny starts asking Harry questions after that, and later Harry walks in on the two of them fighting. So you see, changing the sex scene allowed all of these other bits of the story to start to fall into place! Cool, huh?
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no subject
Date: 2004-06-15 10:44 pm (UTC)Interesting on how you changed Manny's role there too.
Then I realized that there was someone else who really deserved to be Harry's first for that, and that's something that I'm saving for the sequel! ;-)
Gah, you vile temptress! It's quite unfair to toss out that little tidbit :-p. Yes, most unfair. ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-15 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-15 11:07 pm (UTC)Nice scene, though. I think I like the bit with the talking afterwards in here, but the scene in the story itself better.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-15 11:20 pm (UTC)Can I wish now for some Manny/Harry? (You've created a monster, you know?)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-15 11:44 pm (UTC):)
Date: 2004-06-16 02:07 am (UTC)Deleting it was definitely the right decision,
IMO, the first Harry/Colby scene in the story is very fitting for Harry's first time with a guy. He has no experience, but he knows how to wank, so he makes use of this knowledge... and Colby doesn't notice anything.
As well as he manages later, during his first time (topping) with Draco, his bottoming for a guy he hardly knows (or rather, doesn't know at all, considering later development) at this time would have been completely OOC (chapter 9: (...) He didn't know how people could give this away so easily, so casually. ).
Then I realized that there was someone else who really deserved to be Harry's first for that...
Definitely! ...oh, the sequel, the sequel... :)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 02:51 am (UTC)You did create a very good bad sex moment, if that makes sense. I agree with you, as you can hardly find bad first times in fanfic. This was lovely, and you wrote a very good uncomfortable Harry :)
love, Gwen
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 04:59 am (UTC)Harry wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered that Malfoy was watching. Deciding there wasn't much he could do about it anyway, he affected an expression of boredom and rolled his eyes. Malfoy held up his little finger. Harry nodded, grinning back.
This part still fits with the wanking scene and I found it amusing. You don't see to many pencil dicks in fanfics. I thought it was realistic (and hilarious) that Harry and Draco made the same observation.
I definitely agree that Harry's first time as bottom should be with Draco, especially since in one chapter he wonders how anyone can give something as intimate as sex away so casually. I think you should post all your deleted scenes to feed our appetite for LMH until the sequel comes out. I can't wait to read more!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 06:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 06:31 am (UTC)Mostly, though, I just wanted to let you know how tickled I am to see you thinking and posting about LMH. I'm so, so looking forward to the sequel, and you said 'summer', and it is definitely now summer. Not that I've been periodically checking your journal to see what's up. No, DEFINITELY not. :D
This is good stuff, Emma. I love this story and this Draco and I'm looking forward to seeing more.
(Also, I've been reading QaJ lately and WAH! Q/O - theirloveissocomplicated!)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 08:48 am (UTC)Harry wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered that Malfoy was watching. Deciding there wasn't much he could do about it anyway, he affected an expression of boredom and rolled his eyes. Malfoy held up his little finger. Harry nodded, grinning back.
Colby grunted more loudly then, and shuddered to a halt. Malfoy used his wand to draw "4.5" in sparkly writing in the air, and Harry stifled a snort.
But I have to say, I agree with taking it out. It was too soon for Harry to bottom, and for Colby of all people? No, that would be wrong.
Can't wait for the sequel.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 10:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 11:05 am (UTC)*waiting patiently for the sequel*
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 11:11 am (UTC)P. S. M-m-m-m... Sequel...^_~
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 12:08 pm (UTC)Still though, it was really well written and I loved that you made it less than perfect. I think Colby would have really sucked at it. No pun intended.
Can't wait for the sequel. I'm so pleased you are releasing these deleted scenes. It gives us all so much more insight into the characters and the story and the paths they could have taken.
Thanks!
Melissa
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 06:08 pm (UTC)Sequel soon?
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 07:26 pm (UTC)What I especially love about your writing is its realism, this scene included. Very much an honest depiction of the uncertainty of first-time anal sex.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 09:20 pm (UTC)"4.5", eh? That's too cute. And of course, we all know Draco was insanely jealous... *grins*
no subject
Date: 2004-06-16 10:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-17 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 12:52 am (UTC)It's actually reminds me perfectly of a conversation I had driving around Boston with this Gay man. He hated bottoming, found it boring- It his own words, "Oh, right. going to Bottom. Yay. Read the newspaper. Find the TV guide. Is he done yet? No? Right. change the channel- Hey! Emeril's on Food Network..."
And this scene reminds me of that. But then again, he also sid that there were the occassional men that he dind't mind bottoming for.
In essence, I think your Harry and Draco are...fabulous, realistic and captivating!
Hurrah!